


The Decoy

by riselioness



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Boss Padme, F/M, Gen, Handmaidens, Handmaidens are the best, Panaka needs a stiff drink and a lie down, Perfect Obi-Wan, SObiweek, Stressed Sabe, We are brave your highness, sabewan, sobiwan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-09-27
Packaged: 2019-07-05 02:08:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 42,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15854049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riselioness/pseuds/riselioness
Summary: With the Trade Federation poised to invade Naboo, the time has come for Sabé to take up the position she has prepared for and become the Queen’s decoy. With the support of her sister handmaidens she navigates the demands and uncertainties of her role, struggles with her own insecurities, and gradually grows close to a certain Jedi apprentice.





	1. The Handmaiden and the Queen

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been working my a TPM-through-Sabé’s-eyes fic on and off for three years, and I finished it in time for Sobiweek, huzzah! I’m posting the first chapter now, then I’ll be posting a chapter a day throughout Sobiweek (September 9-15). After that I’ll continue posting most days for a couple of weeks until it’s done, so it’ll be Sobitember over here :) 
> 
> While this is is a Sobiwan fic it will take a while to get there, and there’s other stuff going on. Sabé’s a little pre-occupied with everything that comes with her position, and it may take her some time to notice that she is in the presence of the most perfect man in the galaxy, so please bear with her :)
> 
> Canon-wise, I’ll be drawing mainly from the films, bringing in some bits from the novelisation/Clone Wars/EU/new canon as I go, and making other bits up.
> 
> THANK YOU so much to handmaiclen and khaleesa/mrstater for setting up Sobiweek, it’s so great to be celebrating this ship, and I cannot wait to see what comes out of it.
> 
> Disclaimer: no one and nothing in this is mine.

“No. I absolutely refuse.”

“Your highness, the risks to your person are so great that -“

“The risks to my person, Governor, are risks that I and I alone must face. I was not elected to hide behind a decoy while my people invade my capital and assault my people.”

Governor Sio Bibble changed tack. “The move is not without precedent. King Veruna-“

“King Veruna was a drunkard and a charlatan. I do not consider him an example to follow in this or any other matter.”

Captain Panaka took over from Sio Bibble. “Your highness has already approved in principle the use of a decoy in appointing Sabé. She has been fully trained for the role, to protect you in extreme situations such as this that make the use of a decoy necessary.”

It was exactly the wrong approach to take. The Queen’s eyes blazed with fury. “You forget yourself, Captain. I approved Sabé’s training as a last line of defence, and it is I who will determine what situation, _if any_ , demands its use.”

“The time for our last line of defence is _now_ , your highness. The droid army is approaching the palace, and it is only a matter of time before they capture it - before they capture _you_.”

“And they will capture _me_ , Captain. Not an impostor.”

Sio Bibble looked at me despairingly. _Help us!_ his eyes pleaded. I stepped forward.

“Your highness, if I may be permitted to give an opinion -“

The Queen turned on me with a look that would have terrified me six months ago. “Did you know about this Sabé? Did you know they would propose this?”

“No, your highness. That is, I had thought they would suggest it, but neither of them approached me.”

She seemed very slightly mollified. “I see. Well then, what is your opinion on the matter?”

“Your highness, the very reason you have a decoy - a potential decoy, that is - is for situations such as this. We have no idea what the Trade Federation will do when their invasion is complete. Surely it could not be to their advantage to kill you, but this whole invasion makes no sense. Who knows what they will do? We _cannot_ lose you. If you die, our hope is lost. We need you to lead us through whatever happens in this invasion.”

She turned back to the window out of which she had been looking when the Captain and the Governor had entered the room. Sio Bibble made as if to speak again, but I silenced him with a quick gesture. My friend and mentor was an experienced political leader and knew Amidala well enough in a professional context, but I had lived and worked with her continuously for the past year and understood better than he what it would cost her to agree to our proposal. She continued to stare out the window at the invading troops, and I could see that for the first time she was seriously considering the scheme and what it would involve.

I tried again. “Your highness, you know I don’t want to do this for my advantage; you know I have no designs to usurp your power and would never do anything to undermine your authority. But this is the only way to keep you safe. It would only be for a time, until we have the measure of the Nemoidians and you can act accordingly.”

“Tricks and deceit are tools of the Trade Federation, not of the Naboo.” Her voice was as stern as ever, but some of the anger had faded from her face, replaced - I was unnerved to see - by fear.

Captain Panaka tried again. “When facing an adversary as powerful and unpredictable as the Federation, we must use all the resources at our disposal. As Sabé said, it would only be a temporary measure.”

“I cannot do it. I cannot abandon my people like this. They have elected _me_ to lead them, not a handmaiden.”

“But you can still lead them,” I said. “You can brief me, brief us all, about how you want us to act. Once the Federation’s army arrives, I can still be guided by you. I would no make decision without looking to you for direction.” _Please,_ I pleaded with her silently, _just give in, just this once. For your sake, for all our sakes_. “By keeping yourself safe, you would be ensuring you are ready to lead them in person when circumstances allow.”

She held my gaze steady despite the turmoil I could see in her face. Her brown eyes searched mine, scrutinising my intentions, my abilities, my motives. She turned back to window again, head bowed. She seemed smaller than she had a few moments ago - uncertain, vulnerable. But when she turned to face us again her gaze was steady, her mouth set in a firm line.

“All right.” Her voice was level. “I agree. Sabé will take my place. I will pose as a handmaiden.”

I barely saw Bibble and Panaka’s relieved reactions or heard their words. It felt like a hand had gripped my heart and squeezed it tight. I could hear the blood beating in my head and could hardly breathe. What had I agreed to?

 


	2. Invasion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOBIWEEK 2018 IS HERE!!!!!! I am SO excited to see everyone's contributions and to share mine with you, what a great week it's going to be! Huge thanks again to handmaiclen and khaleesa/mrstater, you guys are awesome!

We moved swiftly. We returned to the Queen’s dressing room, where Rabé, Eirtaé, Yané and Saché worked quickly to undress and redress us while Panaka and Bibble waited behind a screen. For me we chose a heavy black gown that suited the solemnity of the occasion. The closely draped snood of the feathered headdress would minimise the difference in our face shapes and bone structures.

Amidala changed into the flame coloured dresses that my fellow handmaidens were already wearing, and sat next to me at the dressing table. For a few surreal seconds, there were two Queens looking back out of the mirror, pale even under the white makeup, tense. Then Saché wiped away Amidala’s makeup, and she became Padmé.

While we changed, the Queen, Panaka and Sio Bibble held a conference across the screen. They discussed in detail the various situations they could envisage, and briefed me in how I should act. The essence of it was that I should sign no treaty under any circumstances, no matter what methods they used to try to persuade me. Padmé was adamant that we must await intervention from the Senate, that even now the Chancellor’s ambassadors were surely in conference with the Federation, whatever the Neimoidians had claimed.

In less time than I could have thought possible, our preparations were complete. I barely recognised myself in my reflection. I had dressed as the Queen before, when I was appointed, to test whether or not I could be a convincing decoy. All, even myself and (reluctantly) Amidala, had agreed that the resemblance was startling, that it was highly unlikely that any one would be able to tell the difference between us unless they were looking closely, and probably not even then. But it was different now, knowing that the moment I stepped out of the dressing room doors I would walk the Queen’s path, to capture and who knew what beyond.

Panaka and Bibble emerged from behind the screen. They gave a start when they saw me, and looked from me to Padmé and back again. “Very good,” said Bibble softly.

Shots rang out in the courtyard and Panaka moved to the door. “Your highness, Sabé, we should get to the throne room. They will gain entry very soon.”

“A moment, Captain.” She motioned for the others to leave the two of us alone. “Sabé and I will join you soon.”

Panaka frowned. “Quickly, your highness. We haven’t much time.”

A flicker of annoyance crossed Padmé’s face - she was still the Queen and wasn’t about to let Panaka forget it. “A moment, Captain,” she repeated.

He hesitated, then nodded and ushered Bibble and the other handmaidens out into the corridor.

In her handmaiden’s gown and with her face unpainted, she looked younger than I was used to. I often forgot she was only fourteen, four years younger than myself. But right now, with no one else around and on the threshold of such a dangerous and uncertain future, she let her royal poise falter just a fraction, and and I could see the fear and pain in her eyes. I knew what it was costing her to hand over a portion of her power and responsibility to me, to deceive both her electorate and the outside world, to give up what little control she had over events.

I was filled with a sudden urge to kneel before her, and pledge my allegiance as I had done when I had entered her service as a handmaiden. But in my royal outfit it was impossible, so I simply took her hand and kissed it.

“Your highness, I promise not to let you down. I will sign no treaty. I will serve you in all things: in speech and in silence; in acting and in watching; in life and in death. I give my aims for your aims; my person for your person; my life for your life.”

I had fallen into the words of the handmaiden’s oath of allegiance, and the Queen replied in kind. “Handmaiden, I accept your oath. Rise then, and serve me.”

***

The Federation army took longer to arrive at the throne room than we had anticipated. We awaited them in silence.

From time to time one of the guards present would glance at me, and I would feel a surge of anxiety. Surely they had noticed something different about the figure on the throne; surely they recognised their Queen in the handmaiden sitting across the room from me, directly in my eyeline? I did not acknowledge their glances, but stared straight ahead at the throne room doors. I realised I was gripping the arms of the throne so hard that my arms were trembling, and forced myself to relax.

From beyond the doors came the sounds we had been expecting and dreading - the clack-clack-clack-clack of droid footfall echoing in the antechamber. It grew louder and then stopped. 

An oily voice spoke - one of the Neimoidians. “Your highness, we request an audience with you. I assure we wish no harm to you or your people. And we do not wish to cause more damage than necessary to your property. We request that you open these doors immediately, to avoid any further inconvenience.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Padmé incline her head slightly. I nodded at Panaka, who signalled to the guards to open the doors.

Rows of battle droids marched in and took up their positions around the throne room. I felt a surge of pride in my people. No one - not a handmaiden, not a guard, not even Sio Bibble - recoiled at the approach of the insect-like, skeleton-like droids, or flinched at the blasters pointed at them.

And as the Neimoidians themselves stepped over the threshold, the strangest thing happened. I no longer felt like a decoy. I was filled with a sudden, deep confidence in myself and my role. I forgot all my fears that I would be identified as an impostor, that I would make a wrong move and endanger us all. They had come to confront the Queen - and here I was.

The Neimoidians halted close to the throne - insultingly close. “Your royal highness,” said the one I recognised as Viceroy Nute Gunray. “It is an honour to finally meet you in person.”

I ignored his obsequious greeting. “The Senate will not tolerate this, Viceroy. When they hear how you have violated galactic law in this most outrageous of fashions -“

“Your highness, I regret to say that due to your planet’s reluctance to co-operate in negotiations, we have had no choice but to implement a communications blockade here. The Senate will hear no further from Naboo until we have reached a settlement.”

I pushed down my horror. “There will be no settlement. This is an invasion, in contravention of all the laws of the Republic.”

“I am afraid you misunderstand the situation, your highness. Our actions are perfectly legal, and we have full confidence that the Senate will agree. But I am sure you are all tired from recent events, and would be more comfortable resting in your new quarters. Allow us to escort you.”

The droids motioned with their blasters. We had agreed that we would offer as little resistance as possible, beyond, of course, refusing to sign a treaty, so we let ourselves be led out of the throne room without protest. Padmé and the other handmaidens took up their place behind me, and their silent presence gave me strength as we progressed down the grand stairs and out of the palace.

Sio Bibble took up the dialogue against the Nemoidians, perhaps feeling that it should not be left solely to a handmaiden, however she might be dressed. I let him, knowing that the Queen held the Governor of Theed in high regard. Besides, I had not negotiated stairs in a dress like this before, and it look most of my concentration to descend them without tripping.

Sio Bibble’s every syllable was steeped in fury. “It is bad enough, Viceroy, that you dare to disrupt transmissions between the Queen and Senator Palpatine while he is attempting to argue our cause before the Republic Senate, bad enough that you pretend that this blockade is a lawful action, but landing an entire army on our planet and occupying our cities is too outrageous for words. Viceroy, I ask you point blank: how will you explain this invasion to the Senate?”

Gunray’s infuriating calm did not waver. “The Queen and I will sign a treaty that will legitimise our occupation here. I have assurances it will be ratified by the Senate.”

I could remain silent no longer. “I will not co-operate.”

“Now, now your highness.” Gunray’s tone was as patronising as it was smug. “In time, the suffering of your people will persuade you to see our our point of view.”

We had reached the bottom of the stairs. Gunray addressed the waiting battle droid. “Commander. Process them.”

***

Apart from our group, the streets of Theed were empty of humans. There were few signs of damage or disruption in the streets, and no blood. It looked like the city’s population had given in without much of a fight, and I hoped that this was a good sign.

Suddenly, too fast for me to fully realise what was happening, two figures dropped from an archway overhead and attacked the droid guards in a blur of brown and green and blue. It was over almost before I realised it had begun. The debris of what had been the battle droids lay smoking in the street. The men deactivated their weapons - some kind of coloured energy blade - and the older of the two spoke. “We should leave the streets, your highness.”

Sio Bibble was the first to recover himself. He ushered me into a colonnaded side street, and Padmé and Panaka followed with the rest of the group.

Our rescuer addressed me again. “I am Qui-Gon Jinn, and my companion is Obi-Wan Kenobi. We are Jedi Knights, and ambassadors for the Supreme Chancellor.” Jedi Knights! Then their weapons were lightsabers, just like in the stories.

Before I had the chance to reply, Sio Bibble cut in. “Your negotiations seem to have failed, ambassador.”

“The negotiations never took place. It is urgent that we make contact with the Republic.” In his shock, Sio Bibble looked automatically to Padmé before remembering himself and turning his gaze to me.

Captain Panaka spoke up. “They knocked out all our communications.”

“Do you have transports?”

“In the main hangar. This way.”

As we made our way through the back streets of Theed, the Queen, Panaka, Bibble and I exchanged looks. We weren’t sure exactly what was happening or where it was going to lead, but our situation was looking much more hopeful than it had minutes before.

The older of our two rescuers, Qui-Gon Jinn, was leading the way, and the younger was guarding our rear. I realised that they were not alone. A tall, amphibious-looking creature with enormous ears was tailing Jinn and with a shock, I realised their companion was a Gungan. I’d been brought up to view these indigenous inhabitants of Naboo with a certain level of hostility, even fear - but there was nothing fearsome in the tall creature stooping in a futile attempt to hide behind the humans.

We stopped outside the main doors of the hangar, and Panaka quickly looked in. “There are too many of them.”

“That won’t be a problem.” Jinn wasn’t boasting, merely stating a fact. He turned to me. “Your highness, under the circumstances I suggest you come to Coruscant with us.”

My reply came automatically. “Thank you, ambassador. But my place is with my people.”

“They will kill you if you stay.”

“They wouldn’t dare!” cried Sio Bibble.

“They need her to sign a treaty to make this invasion of theirs legal,” added Panaka. “They can’t afford to kill her.”

“There is something else behind all this, your highness. There is no logic in the Federation’s move here. My feelings tell me they will destroy you.”

Under normal circumstances, this argument would hardly have carried weight for any of us - but somehow none of us doubted him. Sio Bibble’s mind was made up in a moment. “Our only hope is for the Senate to side with us. Senator Palpatine needs your help.”

He was looking at me but his words were directed to Padmé, standing at my shoulder. This was not a decision I could make; I had to risk consulting the Queen. “Either choice presents great danger -“ I turned to Padmé - “To us all.”

Her reply was immediate. “We are brave, your highness.”

“If we are to leave, your highness, it must be now.”

From the kindness in Qui-Gon’s eyes, I knew he understood how difficult this was for us. I took a deep breath. “Then I will plead our case to the Senate.”

 


	3. Escape

In the brief confusion of our goodbyes, Padmé was able to give her orders discreetly. Saché and Yané were to stay behind with the Governor and several of the guards. I understood why they had been chosen - their background in the security forces meant they were as well prepared as possible to face the dangers of the invasion - but it was still a wrench. I recognised two of the guards Panaka chose to stay behind. One was Saché’s brother, and the other a young man I knew from my time at the Lyceum, and both were highly capable officers. Padmé had taken care we left behind us potential leaders for an embryonic resistance.

I followed Jinn into the hangar, with Panaka at my side and the rest of the group close behind. We walked quickly towards the royal starship with a confidence I don’t think any of us felt. “We’ll need to free those pilots,” said Panaka.

“I’ll deal with that.” The younger Jedi, Kenobi, broke off to head towards the pilots.

The battle droids were heading towards us. “Stay close,” murmured Jinn. “Don’t stop for anything.”

The droids reached us. “Halt.”

“I’m ambassador for the Supreme Chancellor.” Jinn’s voice was as calm as if this was a routine check. “I’m taking these people to Coruscant.”

“Where are you taking them?”

“To Coruscant.”

“Coruscant - that doesn’t compute - wait - you’re under arrest!”

Jinn cut the droid down in a single green flash of his lightsaber. The hangar exploded into a jungle of blaster fire. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Kenobi start to dispose of the droids guarding the pilots, and then Panaka was urging Padmé, Rabé, Eirtaé and me on to the ship.

“This way!” Quick-thinking Eirtaé ushered us down the corridor and into the throne room.

“We must -“ began Padmé, but Eirtaé silenced her with an urgent gesture. Two of the guards had followed us.

A sudden lurch indicated that the ship was taking off, much faster than it should. “Brace!” yelled one of the guards, and we staggered to the benches lining the room. I struggled in my gown to reach the restraints, but Rabé was already there, securing the straps across my chest.

There were no windows in the throne room, so I could only guess from a sudden smoothing in the ship’s movement that we had cleared the hangar. Another series of lurches signalled the passage through the atmosphere.

“Too fast,” cried one of the guards, “too fast!”

The shipped rocked - we’d been hit. “Shields are holding,” murmured Eirtaé. Then a stronger blast that would have thrown us to the floor if we hadn’t been strapped in. “That didn’t feel good!”

The ship rose suddenly and went into a spin. Rabé shrieked, and at least one of the guards yelled out. I could taste blood where I’d bitten the inside of my cheek. Then came a series of lurches and spins that I thought would shake us all from the restraints. Then suddenly the ship surged forward and its course evened out.

A few heartbeats, then one of the guards spoke, “Your highness, are you all right?” I nodded, and looked around to Padmé, Eirtaé and Rabé, who nodded too. All were pale, and Rabé looked like she might be sick. “I think we must be clear now, but I would suggest you keep the restraints on until we have word from the cockpit.”

I wasn’t going to argue. “Thank you, officer.”

It wasn’t long before one of the pilots arrived. After ascertaining that no one was hurt, he reported that we had cleared Naboo with no loss of life and that it did not appear we were being pursued. However, the ship had been damaged and Panaka and the Jedi were looking for a planet to land on for repairs. In the meantime, it was safe for us to move about the ship if we wished.

Eirtaé sank back against the wall in relief; Rabé closed her eyes and murmured something. It seemed our escape had been a success. But I couldn’t relax - what next? I needed - _Padmé_ needed - to hear more details of our circumstances. “Thank you, corporal. Tell Captain Panaka to report here at his earliest convenience.” He bowed, and left the room.

The guards positioned themselves at the door, and I seated myself on the simple throne at the far end of the room. Padmé, Rabé and Eirtaé straightened first my gown, then their own. Under cover of adjusting my headdress, Padmé murmured her instructions. I was to find out as much as I could about our situation, and take the first opportunity to put Padmé in my line of sight so we could communicate.

She was prevented from saying more by the arrival of the Jedi. She calmly finished straightening the feathers of my headdress - no rushing the Queen’s toilette - then took her place at my side.

Qui-Gon Jinn bowed, and I took his silence as my cue to speak. “We are indebted to you, ambassadors. You have saved our lives.”

“Your people are brave and capable, your highness. They are a credit to you. We could have not escaped Naboo without the skill and quick-thinking of the security forces involved, and of pilot Ric Olié in particular. And also one astromech droid, who fixed the shield before the Federation army could score a major hit. But I suggest we wait until the Captain arrives - then we can report in full detail.”

The two Jedi conferred quietly together while we waited for Panaka to arrive, and I had the chance to examine them properly for the first time. The older man was clearly the leader, and perhaps the younger’s teacher. There was something about him that made me think that in any gathering that included him, no matter how large or small, how formal or how informal, how humble or how grand, he would be the focus of attention.

He was tall and powerfully built, but it wasn’t his physical presence that gave me this impression. He had a sense about him of stillness and depth and power, that reminded me of the great lakes of my home province. As my career progressed, I would meet more Jedi and learn that this kind of presence was the mark of a Jedi Master in his prime, but at the time I had never met a Jedi before and this man somehow seemed more real than anyone I had ever met before.

The younger Jedi also had a sense of stillness about him, but in his case it seemed like the stillness between actions. Even while he was speaking to the older Jedi, he was alert, his eyes flicking between me, the other handmaidens and the guards. He gave the impression of being poised ready to act immediately when the moment called for it.

The doors slid open, and in walked Captain Panaka, followed to my surprise by a very dirty and scuffed astromech droid. The Captain saluted, and reported. We had left Naboo’s atmosphere with no internal or external damage to the ship, despite the speed of our escape. As we had attempted to clear the blockade however, the ship had sustained substantial damage, mainly to the hyperdrive.

The shield generator had also been hit, and for a few heart-stopping moments we had been highly vulnerable to the Federation’s star fighters. Several droids had been lost attempting to fix it, but this astromech had managed to restore power to the shield generator, and we were now beyond the reach of the Trade Federation, though in urgent need of repair and refuelling before we could continue to Coruscant. 

“An extremely well put together little droid, your highness. Without a doubt it saved the ship, as well as our lives.”

This could be the opportunity I was looking for to put Padmé in my eyeline. “It is to be commended. What is its number?”

The droid gave a series of beeps and whistles. Panaka  bent down to wipe the grease and soot off it’s reg-plate. “Artoo-Deetoo, your highness.”

“Thank you, Artoo-Deetoo.” I couldn’t suppress a slight smile at what I was about to do. “Padmé.” She moved over to the droid. I was sure she understood my motives, but I still couldn’t help feeling a little apprehensive as I gave an order to my Queen. “Clean this droid up as best as you can. It deserves our gratitude.”

I turned back to Panaka. “Continue, Captain.”

He looked at Qui-Gon, frowning. The Jedi stepped forwards. “You highness, with your permission we’re heading for a remote planet called Tatooine. It’s in a system far beyond the reach of the Trade Federation.”

“I do not agree with the Jedi on this,” said Panaka. “Tatooine is very dangerous; it’s controlled by the Hutts. The Hutts are gangsters and slavers.”

“You must trust my judgement, your highness.” And somehow, I felt like I did trust him. But the decision was not mine to make.

“Must I?” I asked softly. Padmé gave an almost imperceptible nod. “We are in your hands.”

“We should arrive on Tatooine some time tomorrow morning. I suggest we find a moderately-sized settlement, a spaceport for preference. This astromech droid has full details of the ship’s specification; I will take it to the port and buy the parts we need. I will take Jar Jar Binks with me as well - a mixed party will be less threatening and should attract less attention. My apprentice will stay here with you.”

“Very well.”

“Then if you will excuse us, Obi-Wan will review the damage to the ship and confirm the parts we need, and I will begin preparations for our landing.” The two Jedi bowed. As Qui-Gon straightened up, he looked up and caught Padmé scrutinising him. The slightest of frowns crossed his face as he and Obi-Wan turned to leave. It was clear we would all need to be careful if I was going to continue posing as the Queen.

I dismissed the guards, so that we could confer freely. As soon as the doors closed behind them, Captain Panka addressed Padmé. “I am not happy with this situation, your highness. We may have escaped the Trade Federation, but these Jedi are leading us into a danger that could be even greater. Galactic law has little hold in Tatooine; it is the gangsters who rule there. These Jedi seem confident they will find the parts they need, but we have no guarantee of this. It is much more likely we will attract unwanted attention from the residents.”

“I appreciate your concerns, captain. However, we have very few choices open to us, and I agree with the Jedi that this is our only feasible option.” The Queen spoke in the more informal tones of her Padmé persona, but the authority in her voice was undiminished. “Unless you have an alternative course of action which you would like to propose?” Panaka was silent. “Tatooine it is then. Now, Sabé.”

“Yes, your highness.” My ordinary voice sounded strange after a day spent speaking as the Queen.

“Are you ready to continue as my decoy for the time being?”

“I am willing to do whatever you ask of me, your highness.”

“As you know, I was not keen on this idea of a decoy. But now you have drawn attention my presence and addressed me by name, it would appear we must continue with the scheme.” Her voice was neutral, with no hint of reproach, but I couldn’t help feeling rebuked - even thought I knew she understood why I had called her out of anonymity.

“I think it is best this way, your highness,” said Panaka. “Until we are safe on Coruscant, we should maintain this pretence.”

“The three of you should stay in the state rooms as much as possible, I think. But for now at least” - and Padmé gave me an impish smile that reassured me she bore no grudge - “it seems I have some maintenance work to do.”

***

Rabé, Eirtaé and I returned to the royal apartments. They were compact, but comfortable and well-equipped, consisting of a bedchamber, a dressing room, washing facilities and an antechamber that did double duty as both a sitting room and a reception room.

We inspected the contents of the wardrobe. It was well stocked, but most of the ensembles were either too bright and festive for our circumstances, or too complex for our small party to manage. We decided that I would stay in the black feathered gown I was wearing for the duration of our journey to Coruscant. That way, when Padmé resumed her place as Queen the change would be less noticeable, with any differences in our appearances lost in the change of outfit. Padmé, Eirtae and Rabé would also stay in their flame-coloured gowns, since out of all the options available they allowed the most freedom of movement. We hoped to avoid any further emergencies, but it was best to be prepared.

It wasn’t late, but after an extraordinary day of stresses and dangers we were all exhausted, and decided to retire for the night. Eirtaé and Rabé helped me out of the heavy gown and headdress, and Rabé removed my makeup while Eirtaé inspected my outfit for any damage sustained in our escape.

“You’re doing an amazing job, Sabé,” said Rabé as she gently wiped off my white face paint.

“Am I? It doesn’t feel like it.”

“Well, you are. The Queen won’t see it. She can’t, she’s too preoccupied with the difficulties of our situation, and with trying to work out the best course of action. She can only see the difficulties posed by you being her decoy; she can’t see how well you’re doing. You’re acting just how she would do - it’s uncanny. And you’ve not made a single decision without managing to consult her.”

I didn’t know how to respond. “Thank you,” I whispered. I felt like if I said anything more, I would cry.

She smiled. “You’re welcome.”

***

It took me a long time to fall asleep. My mind was still whirring, trying to process everything that had happened that day. I forced myself to use some of the relaxation techniques I’d learnt in my training. It had been drilled into us that we had to be able to make the most of any opportunity to sleep, that worry and fear were no excuse for not managing to rest.

We all slept in the same room. Though I had protested, Eirtaé and Rabé had insisted I sleep in the Queen’s bed, in her nightgown. Although the room was off-limits to any but the four of us, we still had to take maximum precautions against discovery.

I only realised I’d been asleep when I woke to hear Padmé returning and getting ready for bed. I should greet her, report, receive instructions. I kept my eyes closed and my breathing even, feigning sleep. I felt rather than heard her pause and look at me. Then a rustle of sheets as she climbed into bed.

Eventually I slept, and dreamt that battle droids were marching into Theed: thousands upon thousands of them, filling the palace, the streets, the houses, until they spilled out of the city and covered the whole of Naboo.

 


	4. Stranded

We landed on Tatooine the next morning, and Panaka came to report in the antechamber. It was clear that his opinions regarding our current situation were unchanged.

“We’ve landed on the outskirts of a spaceport called Mos Espa. Master Jinn thinks we’re unlikely to attract attention, but I’m not so optimistic. A ship like this - we’re bound to be noticed. I’ve posted a guard, but I’d still rather we were further away from the city. Or somewhere else all together.”

“And the Jedi ambassadors, what of them?”

“Qui-Gon Jinn is preparing to leave as we speak.” He took off his cap and smoothed a hand over his hair before replacing it. “Your highness, I am seriously concerned about this situation. We barely know these men. They are ambassadors for the Supreme Chancellor, yes, but that doesn’t mean we should trust them blindly with our lives.”

“I quite agree, Captain. Which is why I am going to Mos Espa with Qui-Gon Jinn.”

Panaka looked like he’d been punched. “You cannot be serious.”

“You know full well that I am. Rabé, go and find Master Jinn and tell him to wait.” Rabé bowed and left, and Padmé turned back to the Captain. “I need to keep an eye on this Jedi who has taken our lives into his hands.“ 

“But your highness, the dangers - Send one of the guards, send Eirtaé or Rabé if you want a personal representative. But to go yourself - it’s madness!”

“ _Madness_ , Captain?” There was steel in her voice.

Panaka swallowed. “I beg your pardon, your highness. But surely, there is nothing to be gained by you going personally, and you risk everything!”

“Captain, I am tired of being sidelined, of entrusting to others decisions that affect the future of my home. I am going with Qui-Gon Jinn.”

“Tatooine is a planet of gangsters and slavers! If they see you, a young woman, with just a man, a Gungan and a droid for companions, then - “

“Then I will be considered under his protection, and as safe as any of you will be on board this ship. You have seen that Master Jinn is more than capable of defending himself and his companions.”

“Your highness, please, consider -“

He was interrupted by Rabé’s return.

“Your highness, Qui-Gon Jinn has already left for Mos Espa. He has taken Jar Jar and the astromech with him.”

Padmé’s eyes blazed with fury. “Of all the -” She turned to Panaka. “Wait here while I change.”

“Your highness -”

“That is an _order_ , Captain!”

Panaka’s mouth closed in a tight line and he bowed stiffly. Rabé, Eirtaé and I followed Padmé into the dressing room.

“There are some civilian clothes in that bottom drawer.” After a brief sift through the contents, Rabé selected an outfit of rough-spun fabric in blue, grey and brown. Padmé nodded her approval and began to change. “I’ll bring a commlink, but it’s too risky to communicate regularly. I’ll only use it in an emergency. Don’t contact me - if you don’t hear from me, assume I’m fine.” She shook out her hair from its simple knot and began to comb it out.

“Here, let me.” Rabé guided her to a chair, and began to deftly braid and pin her hair. “This should stay in overnight; you shouldn’t need to redo it.”

The Queen caught Eirtaé looking at her in concern, and frowned. “Eirtaé, if you tell me you agree with Captain Panaka -“

“Then it wouldn’t make any difference, would it? As it happens, I do agree with him. But I understand why you want to be the one who goes with the Jedi. I suppose you should be safe enough with him. And frankly, your highness, I would rather try to stop a charging shaak than try to persuade you to change your mind right now.”

Padmé smiled. “Thank you for your unqualified support, Eirtaé. Sabé.” I stepped forward. “Sit tight and wait until I return. Make no decisions. Limit your appearances in public.” 

I bowed. “Yes, your highness.”

Padmé stood up and returned to the antechamber. The change of outfit had taken only minutes; it shouldn’t take Padmé long to catch up with Qui-Gon Jinn. Panaka didn’t say a word as he followed her to the door of the royal apartment. He was not a hot-tempered man, but I could tell that right now it was taking all of his energy to keep his anger under control.

On the threshold, Padmé turned back and looked at the three of us in turn. “The blessing of woods and waters be with you all.”

“And with you, your highness,” Rabé replied.

And then our Queen walked through the doors and out towards the unknown planet.

“I need a drink,” said Eirtaé.

“I’m not sure that -“

“I wasn’t being serious, Sabé, don’t worry,” she said irritably, and sank into chair. “But this is exactly the kind of situation that makes a complete ban on drinking on duty such a bad idea.”

“I’m inclined to agree with you,” I said.

“So what do we do now?” Rabé asked, looking at me. The three of us were equal in rank, and Padmé had not given me any special mandate, but in posing as the Queen it appeared I had taken on some kind of leadership role in their eyes.

“What do we do?” I echoed. “We do what we’re told. We stay here, we make no decisions, we do nothing, we just _wait_ here while she goes off and risks her life for no real purpose, for no gain over sending one of us in her place. Of all the stupid, stubborn, _selfish_ -“

I stopped. Rabé and Eirtaé were both staring at me. This kind of outburst was out of character for me. I breathed deeply for a moment. _Out. In. Out. In._ “We follow our orders,” I said. “We await her return.”

There was a pause, and then they both nodded. “It’s not as if there’s anything else we _can_ do,” muttered Eirtaé. She returned to the dressing room and began shaking out the clothes that lay by the wardrobe, and replacing them. Rabé followed her, and started to tidy away the combs and pins from dressing Padmé’s hair.

I just stood there, watching them without really seeing them. I only realised what I was doing when the commlink beeped a guard’s voice sounded through the speaker. “Your highness, Jedi Kenobi is here to see you.”

Rabé, Eirtaé and I looked at me from the dressing room. I didn’t feel ready to face anyone just then. My hands moved instinctively to smooth down my gown, but I made myself hold them steady by my side - it was a gesture Amidala would never have made. I straightened. “Send him in.” Somehow, I managed to keep my voice steady.

Obi-Wan Kenobi strode into the antechamber, a slight frown darkening his features. I wondered for a moment if he felt similar to how I felt - abandoned by his master in unfamiliar and unpredictable circumstances, left to make his own decisions as best he could.

“I understand you have sent one of your handmaidens with Qui-Gon and his party?”

“I have.” His tone was bordering on the accusatory, and I didn’t like it. “I wish to learn more about this planet, and no doubt your master will be fully occupied with obtaining the necessary parts for the ship. Padmé will be my eyes and ears on Tatooine, and will be able to report back on the people and their way of life.” _And keep an eye on your master_ , I added silently.

His frown deepened. “An admirable ambition, your highness. However, Mos Espa is not a spaceport of the type you find on Naboo. It it is notorious as a haven for gamblers and slavers, controlled by the Hutt. I fear it unwise to -“

“Jedi do not hold a monopoly on wisdom, Master Kenobi.” I had to fight to keep my voice even. “I don’t know if your master has considered the impression that he and his companions will give. He may be disguised as a trader, or a farmer, or something else that fits in with whatever scheme he has in mind, but it is clear to anyone with eyes that he is a warrior. The last thing we need is for him to attract hostile attention. With a woman present, his party will appear more like a family group, and far less threatening.” I took a perverse kind of pleasure in arguing a point I myself disagreed with, in rebuking him as I was unable to rebuke Padmé, even though I agreed with him completely.

Anger blazed in his eyes, but was quickly brought under control. Our positions might, unbeknownst to him, be similar, but I at least had the luxury in my disguise as Queen to speak plainly. “That may be the case,” he began slowly, “but in an unfamiliar and hostile environment such as this, it would be better to keep the party as small as possible. I’m sure your handmaiden is a capable bodyguard, but I would question whether she can have the skills for a mission of this type.”

“My handmaidens’ skills are far more varied and advanced than you could imagine. I would trust any one of them not only with my own life, but with the lives of our whole party. I can assure you that Padmé’s abilities to face what ever circumstances she encounters in Mos Espa can offer you no cause for concern.”

“I appreciate your confidence in the competence of your entourage, your highness, but I’m afraid I have severe concerns over the situation.”

“Regardless of any concerns you may or may not have, Jedi Kenobi, my handmaiden has already left to join Master Jinn. If your master wishes to turn her away, then we shall see - but I do not think he will. He at least will see the merits of her presence.”

I could see he had no way to argue with that. And I could also see he did not appreciate my reminding him he was not in charge. “Then it would appear we must await word from my master. If you will excuse me, your highness, I must check the hyperdrive system to ensure no auxiliary parts need replacing.” He bowed, somewhat stiffly, and left.

My head was aching. I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing again, but I could feel myself trembling. “I need something to _do_ ,” I said helplessly. “I can’t just wait here, playing at being Queen until Padmé returns.”

Eirtaé and Rabé looked at each other. “There’s not much that needs doing,” said Rabé. “Some of these outfits need some very minor repairs or alterations, but that’s not something you can really do in that gown.”

“And likewise for checking the weapons store for repairs,” added Eirtaé.

Tears were stinging in my eyes. “ _Anything_ ,” I whispered.

Rabé thought for a while, then said, “We’ve got plenty of datapads, and there must be archives you can access without sending transmissions. Why don’t you review files on Tatooine, and the Senate? I doubt you’ll need the information, since you won’t be the one making the decisions -” she gave me a sympathetic smile - “but it can’t hurt to be well-briefed.”

“And it’s something you can do in the throne room,” added Eirtaé. I know we have to be careful about you appearing in public, but it’s bad for morale to have the Queen hiding in her chambers.”

“I’m not -“ I began, but Eirtaé stopped me with a gesture. “I know you’re not hiding. But it would be good for you to be seen by the guards and the crew. Rabé?”

She nodded. “Eirtaé’s right. They need to see you, to see that their Queen is still strong and unafraid.”

I’d never felt weaker or more fearful. “So be it,” I whispered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to you guys for your lovely comments! I am having an absolute blast this week. Seeing/reading/listening to everyone's contributions is so much fun (and obviously utterly heartbreaking, because this is a) Star Wars and b) Sobiwan), and I'm really enjoying sharing this fic with you. I've always loved TPM, and writing this fic has really cemented my love of it. And all this Sobiwan goodness seems to have got those creative juices flowing, and I'm finally writing some post-TPM Sobiwan stuff, so hopefully there will be some more Sobiwan nuggets to follow some time after this is done :)


	5. Paralysis

Panaka returned shortly after we had moved to the throne room. His mouth was set in a thin line, and he made his report briefly, almost tersely. Qui-Gon Jinn had not been pleased about the addition to his party, but had agreed. Panaka had left them some way from Mos Espa. The presence of the guards meant he could say no more about Padmé’s intentions, and I suspect he had no desire to. “If you will excuse me, your highness, I should review the security arrangements in the light of their expedition.”

“Of course, Captain. We all trust our safety to your capable hands.”

He acknowledged the encouragement with the slightest of smiles and left to join his troops - the men and women who would obey their superior officer immediately and without argument.

I spent most of the rest of the day trying to read in the throne room. I started to research Tatooine, but soon had to stop - nothing I learnt about this desert planet made me feel any more confident about my Queen’s safety or the potential success of their mission. I turned my attention to reading about Coruscant and the workings of the Senate, but it was difficult to focus. I knew much of it already from my education at the Lyceum and my training as a handmaiden, and most of what I didn’t know was so detailed and convoluted that it would have been hard reading in any circumstances. As it was, my attention kept straying to speculation over the thousand and one dangerous situations Padmé and the others could have got themselves into by now, and - even worse - to what might or might not be happening on Naboo at the moment.

My anxious thoughts were interrupted by Obi-Wan’s entry into the throne room. He gave the smallest of bows. “Your highness, I have had word from Qui-Gonn Jinn.”

“Yes?”

“He has found a suitable hyperdrive at a trader’s in Mos Espa. It’s in good condition and the trader seems willing to sell, but he won’t accept Republic credits - he wants to trade for goods instead.”

“For goods? Why won’t he accept credits? Surely even on a planet like Tatooine they must be widely used.”

“Perhaps, but barter economies are common on impoverished planets like Tatooine. To a farmer who is only one bad harvest away from poverty, or a merchant who relies on goods exchange for his livelihood, goods and services are often trusted far more than credits backed by a far-off planet.”

I mentally kicked myself - that should have been obvious. “Then what does your master have to bargain with?”

“Truthfully, your highness, I’m afraid I’m not sure. We have some goods on board, but it seems unlikely we have anything the trader would want.”

“Then what will your master do?”

“At this moment, I don’t know. They’re going to find somewhere to stay the night in Mos Espa while he reviews the situation.”

“Stay the night?” I was shocked. I had assumed they would return to the ship at the end of the day to report and decide what to do next - it hadn’t occurred to me they might be gone overnight.

“It can’t be avoided, your highness. There’s a sandstorm coming in - a serious one. They wouldn’t be able to get back to the ship in time. They’ve been befriended by a local slave family, and are going to stay the night at their home.” I couldn’t have been very successful at concealing my worries, because Obi-Wan added, “You needn't be overly concerned about them at this stage. My master is very good at interacting with - with the more vulnerable sections of society, and is an excellent judge of character. If he’s chosen to trust them, you can be sure they are trustworthy.”

“And so all we can do now is wait until we hear further from your master.”

“I am afraid so, your highness.”

“Then we will continue to wait.”

***

I finally gave up even pretending to try to read, and went with Rabé and Eirtaé to the solar. A huge window formed almost the whole height and length of the wall, and we’d previously avoided the room at Rabé’s insistence that I must avoid being seen by anyone outside the ship. She’d finally relented with the arrival of the sandstorm, reasoning that no one would remain in the area in these conditions.

I’d never encountered a desert before. I’d caught a glimpse of it as we’d touched down on the planet, the dunes stretching from horizon to horizon in peaks and troughs that seemed a malevolent parody of the hills and valleys of Naboo. Now as the winds picked up, whipping the sand up through the air and against the window with increasing power, the horizons seemed to be shrinking, trapping us in a smaller and smaller prison of sand.

The three of us sat in silence, watching the storm rising. It was as mesmerising as it was threatening, and I found a strange kind of comfort in seeing my inner turmoil played out in the world outside.

The beep of Rabé’s commlink broke into our silent contemplation of the storm, and Ric Olié’s voice sounded. “Your highness, we’re receiving a transmission from Naboo. The connection is poor, but we’ve stabilised it as much as we can, and it’ll be ready to view soon.”

Hope and fear mingled in Rabé’s eyes. “Have Panaka and the Jedi meet us in the throne room,” I said.

***

Ric Olié and his crew had only managed to salvage part of the message, which Eirtaé and Rabé and I watched again and again as we waited for Panaka and Obi-Wan to arrive. The poor quality of the hologram didn’t diminish the anguish in Sio Bibble’s face and voice as it flickered in and out of sight. “. . . Cut off all our food supplies until you return . . . The death toll is catastrophic, we must bow to their wishes . . . You must contact me!” The audio stuttered, and the hologram cut out again.

Panaka and Obi-Wan entered, brushing sand off their clothes. “Who -” Panaka began, then stopped as he saw the Governor’s hologram. The two men took a seat at the edge of the room, and we watched it again. I knew it off by heart by now. Obi-Wan rose as soon as Bibble flickered out of view. “It’s a trick,” he said. “Send no reply. Send no transmissions of any kind.” Before either Panaka or I could reply he strode off, presumably to contact Qui-Gon.

Panaka stayed seated, staring at where the hologram had been. Then he indicated to the guards, who bowed to me, saluted the Captain, and left.

“The Jedi’s right that we can’t reply,” he said heavily. “But I’m not so sure it’s a trick.”

“Neither am I,” I said. My voice sounded very small.

He took off his cap and smoothed a hand over his head. Eirtaé moved to sit next to him, and Rabé joined them on the bench. We sat in silence for a while. I could hardly bear to imagine what Bibble had been describing, yet I could think of nothing else.

Panaka stood up. “We need to contact Padmé,” he said. “She needs to know about this. She needs to come back to the ship so we can decide what to do.”

“What can we do?” said Eirtaé. “We can’t reply, or the Trade Federation might trace us and track us down. All we can do is wait here until Padmé and the others return - hopefully with a hyperdrive.”

“That’s not the point! Padmé should be here, seeing this for herself. Not roaming the streets of one of the most lawless cities in the Outer Rim, with only an old man, a droid and that - that creature for protection! Not putting herself at the mercy of who-knows-what kind of slaves in a sandstorm! I’m going to contact her.”

“Captain, you can’t!” I cried. “We’ve no idea where she is or who she’s with at the moment. We have to assume she’ll be overheard. And you can’t have that conversation without revealing who she is. Obi-Wan will contact Master Jinn, and I’m sure Master Jinn will tell Padmé. It’s like Eirtaé said, we just have to wait here until they return or we hear from them.”

“And what makes you think it’s your decision what we do, Sabé? You’re not Queen, however you may be dressed. You have no authority here, no matter what role you have to play in public. You forget yourself.”

I recoiled, almost as if he’d hit me. It took a moment for me to recover myself. “I forget nothing, Captain. I am well aware who I am. I am my Queen’s handmaiden, and I follow my Queen’s orders.  She said wait, so I will wait. And so should you. Captain of the Queen’s Guard you may be, but you do not have authority to directly contravene her orders.”

“I don’t need to be lectured in following orders by a glorified bodyguard,” said Panaka, keeping his voice down with obvious effort. “I am in charge of security on this ship. I was a fool to let the Queen leave, but I will not be so foolish as to leave her in ignorance of this.”

“You are in charge of security, yes, but if you wish to do your job properly, you won’t endanger the Queen’s life even more by revealing her identity when she is trapped in that place! And regardless of your personal wishes, I say again that the Queen has ordered us to _wait_. Until we hear otherwise from her, we must follow that order! You know that as well as I do, Captain.”

He stared at me, nostrils wide, visibly fighting to control himself. Very well,” he said eventually. “It would appear I have been overruled. If you will excuse me.”

He left without even a nod to any of us, let alone a salute. We stared after him.

“I’ll go and talk to him,” said Rabé, starting to get up, but Eirtaé stopped her with a hand on her arm. “Let’s leave him for a while,” she said. “He knows Sabé’s right, but he needs time to calm himself down and accept it. I’ll go and talk to him later. Are you alright?”

I was shaking. “No,” I whispered. I could feel the tears coming, but I fought them down. I couldn’t shed them as Queen.

“Let’s get you back to the apartment,” said Rabé, and we left in haste. Somehow, I managed to keep myself under control until the doors of the apartment closed behind me, and then the tears fell and kept falling. I was exhausted, ashamed and afraid, and there was nothing I could do.

Eirtaé and Rabé helped me out of the cumbersome robes and heavy headdress and wiped off the tear-streaked royal makeup. I changed into my - into Padmé’s - nightgown while Eirtaé set the ensemble out to air for the next day. Rabé brushed my hair and softly sang Sullutese lullabies. Gradually, almost without my noticing, my tears stopped falling and my breathing slowed. Now I just felt numb, exhausted.

“Thank you,” I whispered to them both.

“He didn’t mean what he said, you know,” said Eirtaé. “He’s just afraid and helpless, like we all are. And he’s not used to being helpless.”

I nodded. “I know. It still hurt.”

“Of course it did. In fact, if you two don’t need me, I’ll go and talk to him now. He should have had enough time to calm down.”

“Go,” I said. “I’m just going to go to bed. It’s not as if there’s anything else I can do.” I gave a hollow laugh. “I feel that’s all any of us say now.”

Eirtaé smiled wryly, and left. I was slightly surprised that she’d taken it on herself to talk to Panaka. I knew they knew each other from their days in the Royal Intelligence Matrix, but I hadn’t got the impression they were particularly close - if anything, the reverse. Normally Rabé was the one to act as mediator, and I found it hard to imagine razor-sharp, matter-of-fact Eirtaé soothing the Captain’s bruised ego. I assumed she knew what she was doing, though - she usually did.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s not particularly relevant for the events of this fic, but my starting point for Eirtaé’s backstory is the ficlet “Entrapment at Caveat” by Red One, set shortly after Amidala’s election. In it, Panaka seeks out Eirtaé, who is at that point a disgraced former operative in the Royal Intelligence Matrix (RIM), to try to recruit her as Amidala’s handmaiden. Eirtaé is, to say the least, extremely unimpressed by this. Panaka is offering her this opportunity as a chance to restore her family’s honour, and it’s implied that Panaka is hoping to atone for his (undisclosed) part in her downfall. The fic seems to have disappeared from the interwebs, but it was one of my early favourites and I want to take the opportunity to honour it here. Who knows, maybe my Eirtaé head canon will show up in future fics :)


	6. Obi-Wan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES MY FRIENDS you read that chapter title correctly :P

I couldn’t sleep. I lay in the huge bed staring up at the ceiling, my body exhausted but my mind too full of worry to let me rest.

What was happening on Naboo? The Trade Federation were known for being ruthless in negotiation, but how would that ruthlessness translate to the occupation? Were my family safe up in Dee’ja Peak, or had the droid army reached the mountains too? What about Saché, Yané, Sio Bibble and the rest of my friends and colleagues in the palace; what about the whole population of Theed?

And where was Padmé right now? Were she and the rest of the group safe, for now, or had they been attacked, robbed, even killed? Why had she insisted on leaving the ship, why couldn’t she have sent one of us instead?

By the slow, even sound of their breathing, Rabé and Eirtaé were asleep and had been so for some time. I envied them - I felt no nearer sleep than I had felt hours ago when I went to bed.

It was no good. I had to get up, to leave the room for a while. Maybe a change of scene would help me to relax. Slowly, as quietly as possible, I got out of bed, put on my wrap, and headed for the door.

“Going somewhere?” Rabé had propped herself on her elbow. She spoke low enough not to wake Eirtaé.

“I need to get out,” I said. “I can’t sleep. I’m going to sit in the solar for a while.”

“Not like that you’re not. You’ll be recognised.”

“There’s no one around, Rabé. I just want to get out of this room for a bit.”

“Outside this room, you are Amidala - _all_ the time. And there _will_ be people around, you know there will - the guards for a start, not to mention anyone else who decides to take a midnight stroll.”

I knew she was right, which made it worse. “You’re not going to insist on coming with me, are you?” I sounded like a sulky teenager - which I supposed I was, technically. I didn’t care.

“Don’t worry.” She smiled. “We both know unaccompanied escapades are entirely in character for Amidala.”

I couldn’t help smiling at that. “That’s certainly true.”

I made no further complaint as I changed out of my nightgown and into the simplest robe in the Queen’s wardrobe. It was made of red silk so dark as to be almost black, with an iridescent sheen like a birds wing, and while it was padded to give shape and volume, it was nowhere near as stiff or heavy as the other gowns.

I gazed at my reflection while Rabé painted my face again. As she gently covered my face with the white and painted on the two red beauty spots and the Scar of Remembrance, I couldn’t help feeling my spirits sink even lower. It was as if with each stroke of the brush she was painting away Sabé and replacing her with the Queen. I had so longed to leave the room as Sabé, to spend just a few minutes outside the royal apartment as myself.

When Rabé had finished, she took a length of silk from a drawer and wrapped it round my head to conceal my hair. That was one mercy at least - it would appear I was to be spared a headdress. Finally, Rabé stepped back and smiled at me. “Go on then. Enjoy your stroll.”

***

The corridors were deserted as I made my way to the solar. I seemed to have missed the guard’s patrol this time.

When I came to the solar however, to my surprise I found it already occupied. Obi-Wan Kenobi knelt near the front of the room, facing the huge window that was almost black in the sand-saturated night. I opened my mouth to apologise before leaving the solar, but then I remembered I was the Queen. I clothed my mouth and approached the Jedi Knight.

He was kneeling with his palms resting on his thighs, his eyes closed. _Meditating_ , I thought. He didn’t show any signs of being aware of my presence. I hesitated, and then seated myself on a bench a little way away from him.

At first it felt strange to be alone with the silent, apparently oblivious figure, but I soon began to relax. His presence was strangely comforting, as if his inner stillness was radiating out from him, filling the whole room with a sense of peace. Given that he was a Jedi, this was probably not all that far from the truth. Already, my worries had begun to be less sharp in my mind.

I surveyed the Tatooine nightscape before me. The storm had passed some time ago, and now the sands were still, eerily so after the turmoil of the evening. Although I had no doubt they were as dangerous as ever, they somehow seemed less hostile than during the day. In the feeble light of the planet’s three faint moons, the new rises-and-falls of the dunes, utterly altered after the storm and yet somehow the same, reminded me of a rough sea, frozen in time.

Eventually, I became aware that the feeling in the room had somehow changed. I looked over towards Kenobi and saw his eyes were now open, and he too was gazing out over the moon-washed sands. He looked up at me, then inclined his head. “Your highness.”

“Master Kenobi. I hope I didn’t disturb your meditation.”

He smiled, and I realised he was younger than I had thought. “There is no need to worry, your highness. I would be a pretty poor Jedi if I was disturbed from meditation every time someone entered the room. And it’s Padawan Kenobi - I fear it will be some time before I am a Master.”

He returned his gaze to the night desert. Clouds had covered two of the moons, and in the remaining dimness I could barely tell the difference between sand and sky.

I twisted my fingers round a fold of the bird’s-wing silk of my gown. “Jedi Kenobi, I believe I owe you an apology. I was unnecessarily - emphatic this morning. I don’t regret my decision to send my handmaiden with your master, but I fear I was overly expressive in my disagreement with you.”

He smiled. “There is no need to apologise, your highness. I was less than polite myself. And you were right - Jedi do not hold a monopoly on wisdom, and we would do well to remember it.”

“Have you heard from your master since - since the transmission from Naboo?”

He appeared to consider his words for some time before replying. “I have. He believes he has made progress, but it won’t be until later tomorrow before we know if his plan has worked.”

“His plan? What plan?”

Obi-Wan shook his head. “He didn’t go into much detail. I didn’t want to press him. If I’m honest, your highness, I’m not sure it’s a good idea for any of us to know the details of what he has planned. Qui-Gon has a . . . a creative approach to problem-solving. Many times in the years I’ve known him he’s formulated plans that were unorthodox to say the least, made decisions that seemed illogical, foolish even - but it’s always worked out in the end.” He examined his palms. “It’s just nerve-wracking waiting for his plans to come to fruition.”

I couldn’t imagine Padmé agreeing to remain in ignorance with reasoning such as that. But thankfully I knew she would know far more of what Qui-Gon had planned - for once I could choose to be ignorant. I smiled. “I’ve known people like that, too.” He smiled back, then got to his feet and seated himself on the bench along from me. Our antagonisms of the day seemed to have faded.

“Have you known him long?” I asked.

“Almost all my life.”

“I’ve never met any Jedi before you and Master Jinn, and I don’t know much about your Order. I don’t think many Naboo go to train to be Jedi.”

“That’s true. I don’t know why. Naboo’s a small planet, but proportionally speaking I’d expect there to be more, and we do send our scouts there from time to time. I’m sure there are plenty of Force-sensitive individuals, but for whatever reason not many of them are taken for training.”

“Maybe it’s because of the peace of Naboo - the gentleness of the planet itself, and the value we place on harmony. Maybe because the balance that already exists in the planet, that’s existed for centuries - maybe we don’t need Jedi, so they don’t emerge.”

“Maybe. But I doubt any planet’s harmony is so established as to never need Jedi.” He smiled ruefully. “And it would appear you need us now.”

“Very much so,” I agreed. If he and Qui-Gon hadn’t intervened, we would still be on Naboo, interned in a camp, and subject to who-knew-what kind of persuasions to sign a treaty. I shivered. “The message from Governor Bibble. What makes you so sure it’s a trap?”

“There’s no reason for the Trade Federation to inflict that kind of suffering on the people. I know there’s no logic behind any of what they’re doing, but if what Governor Bibble said is true, then there’s no way they’ll escape the justice of the Senate. It’s far more likely they’re trying to bait you into replying so they can trace the signal and track you down. I expect they want to force you to sign a treaty legitimising their invasion, thinking it would achieve their aims and protect them from sanctions from the Senate. I very much doubt it would, though. There’s no way the Senate will tolerate the Federation’s invasion, whatever reasons they give for it.”

“I hope you’re right,” I said, looking down at my hands. “About all of that.”

He turned to face me, his blue eyes grave and earnest. “Your highness, please believe me. We will get you to Coruscant. Your people will be safe.”

I felt ashamed to receive the reassurance that was was rightly owed to Amidala, but I was deeply grateful for it. Despite all my fears and doubts, in that moment I did believe him. “Thank you, Jedi Kenobi.”

***

Back in the royal chambers, I found that I was tired at last. Not with the whirring exhaustion I had felt when I had first gone to bed, but the calm heaviness of being ready to sleep.

Neither Rabé or Eirtaé stirred at my return, and I found it soothing to take off my makeup and change out of my gown without help. I turned my back to Padmé’s empty bed, closed my eyes, and slept.

 


	7. Departure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it's the penultimate day of Sobiweek! It has been the BEST week, and I hope you've all been enjoying everyone's contributions - I certainly have! Past Sobi-week, I will be continuing to post most days until this fic is all done (a couple of weeks or so). So if you've been enjoying this and/or want to find out when Sabe and Obi-Wan will FINALLY get round to getting together, please do consider subscribing :)
> 
> UPDATE: Sobiweek has been extended to Tuesday 18th September! Thank you handmaiclen and mrstater/khaleesa!

I woke in the morning with the disorientating feeling of knowing I had slept much later than I had intended. Rabé and Eirtaé’s beds were empty, and the sterile desert light streamed through the high windows.

I found them in the antechamber, already dressed, and clearing away their breakfast. A third place was set for me.

“Good morning,” said Eirtaé. “You were sleeping so soundly, we didn’t want to wake you.”

“Thank you,” I said, moving to the table. “I feel much more human this morning.”

“What time did you get back?” asked Rabé. I didn’t hear you come in”.

“Quite late.” I helped myself to breakfast. “I stayed in the solar for quite a while. Obi-Wan Kenobi was there, meditating, mostly. It was very restful.”

“Did you talk to him?” asked Eirtaé.

“Yes, a little. Don’t worry,” - Eirtaé had frowned - “I maintained my royal dignity at all times. I didn’t say anything to make him suspicious.” _I hoped_.

As I ate, the dangers and uncertainties of our situation crept back to me like a shadow. I tried my hardest to push down my fears and recall the calmness I had felt the previous night in the solar. There was nothing to be gained by agonising over what might or might not happen or be happening, and I would be best placed to face whatever lay ahead if I wasn’t exhausted by worry. Of course, this was easier said than done.

“Any word from Padmé or Qui-Gon Jinn?” I asked Eirtaé as Rabé started to lay out my gown.

“Not as far as I know,” she replied. “But Panaka asked to see you when you were up.”

“‘Asked’?” I echoed.

“I was as surprised as you were,” Eirtaé said drily.

***

Panaka’s apology was brief but sincere. I accepted it with (I hoped) good grace, although in truth his words the previous day had cut deep. Our situation didn’t allow us the luxury of nursing personal grudges, so I did my best to forgive and forget.

The captain had just finished reporting on a largely uneventful night for the ship, when Obi-Wan Kenobi entered the throne room. “Your highness.” He bowed. “I trust you slept well?”

“Yes, thank you Jedi Kenobi. I did in the end.” He smiled, and I knew he heard my unspoken words.

“You will be pleased to hear I have just heard from Qui-Gon Jinn. He expects to return with the hyperdrive and other parts around lunchtime.”

Was it just my imagination, or did the Jedi look slightly uncomfortable? I decided not to press him for further information, given his reasoning of the previous night. “I am glad to hear it.”

“In that case,” said Panaka, “I will go and ensure all is ready for their installation.”

Obi-Wan remained, and he seemed to be considering something. “Your highness, what did you plan to do this morning?”

“Some more reading, perhaps. There seems to be little else that we can do before your master returns.”

He nodded. “In that case, I had wondered if you might be interested in learning a game that we Jedi learn in the early stages of our training? It is designed to help us both relax and focus, to enable us to be more receptive to the Force as we start to learn its ways.”

I was intrigued. “I am no Jedi.”

“It can be of benefit to non-Jedi as well. Would you like to try it?”

“I would. And perhaps my handmaidens wish to join us?”

I turned to them, and caught a trace of a smile on Rabé’s face. “Thank you, your highness.”

We seated ourselves around a small table as Obi-Wan set up the game. It was played, unusually, with physical pieces rather than electronically, with small blue and orange stones arranged on cloth grid. As Obi-Wan explained the rules I recognised it as being somewhat similar to dejarik, the key difference being that captured pieces joined the other player’s side, rather than being discarded from the game.

Obi-Wan and I played the first game. I initially found it took most of my concentration to work out how to play the game, but by the end of it - I lost, of course - I was starting to relax. As Eirtaé and Rabé played and I watched, I found it easier to follow. There was something soothing about the movement of the pieces, and it had almost a meditative feel to it.

I had just begun a game with Rabé when the doors opened and a guard entered, slightly breathless. “Your highness, Qui-Gon Jinn and Padmé have returned with the parts.”

Obi-Wan rose immediately. “I’ll go and see to the hyperdrive.” He went several paces before he remembered himself, turned back and bowed quickly before leaving.

The doors had only just closed behind him when they opened again and Padmé strode in. She was furious. “Of all the reckless, insufferable, _arrogant_ -“ She paused for more words, then noticed our puzzled faces.

“Your highness?” ventured Rabé cautiously.

“You don’t know what that man did?”

The other two looked at me. “Jedi Kenobi wasn’t particularly forthcoming about his master’s plans, your highness.”

“Oh he wasn’t, wasn’t he? Then let me elaborate. Qui-Gon Jinn bet our ship - _my_ ship - in a podrace in order to win the parts.”

“He did _what_?” cried Eirtaé.

“These Jedi are supposed to be _wise_! He jeopardised our only chance of escape, he put our lives in even more danger than they have been, he showed a complete disregard for any kind of sense, a recklessness beyond words. And he meant to hide all this from the Queen!” She smiled savagely. “Well, at least he didn’t have his way in that.”

“Did you try to stop him?” I asked.

“Of course I did! But he wouldn’t listen to me. And I couldn’t break cover to try to stop him; that would only have made things worse. So I had to just stand by and watch as he handed over all our lives, and the safety of our whole planet, to a complete stranger. And not just a stranger - a child!” She paused to compose herself before explaining more fully.

“We met a slave family, owned - _owned!_ \- by the trader who had the parts. A mother and her son. They sheltered us during the sandstorm, and it turned out the boy, Anakin, races pod. He’s the only human ever to be able to, apparently - that’s how dangerous it is.

“Qui-Gon persuaded the boy to help us, and then convinced the trader to enter him in the podrace. If Anakin won, the trader would get the winnings and give us the parts; if he lost, the trader would get the ship. It was such an unbelievably foolish thing to do! We could have been stranded here with no money and no ship, no shelter and no way to get to Coruscant, at the mercy of the Hutts and the rest of this planet’s gangsters. The arrogance of it! The man was so convinced Anakin would win, so convinced that his intuition, _his feelings_ ” - she almost spat the word - “were right.”

I didn’t know what to say. The severity of the danger Qui-Gon Jinn had put us in was astonishing. But at the same time - hadn’t it paid off?

The same thing seemed to have occurred to Padmé. She scowled at us. “If any of you dare mention that his plan worked -”

“Don’t worry your highness,” Rabé reassured her with a slight smile. “We would like to be alive when we get to Coruscant.”

The Queen responded with the tiniest of smiles. “I’d better go and see how Panaka’s getting on with the parts. Discreetly, of course.”

When she had gone, the three of us were silent for a while, trying to comprehend the risks Qui-Gon Jinn had taken, and the danger we had all been in. “Do you think Jedi are always like that?” I asked.

“Who knows,” said Eirtaé. “They’re supposed to be peacekeepers, aren’t they? I can’t see life remaining peaceful with people like them around.”

“I don’t know,” I said. Qui-Gon radiated a sense of peace and stillness that was part of the authority he projected. And Obi-Wan had managed to calm all our nerves that morning. “Maybe peace isn’t as straightforward as we like to think.”

Eirtaé looked at me strangely. “That’s very deep, Sabé. It’s only days since we met those Jedi, and you’re already turning into a philosopher.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. It’s just that I can’t help thinking - we Naboo have clung so tightly to pacifism for so long. If we’d been more - not militarist exactly, but if we’d had a more pro-active defense strategy, would we be in this mess now?”

“I’m not sure Padmé would like hearing you say that…” murmured Rabé.

“Although quite possibly Captain Panaka would,” Eirtaé added.

“Well, whatever the case, it’s not a debate we’ve really got time for now,” I said. “We should make sure the royal apartment is ready for our departure.”

“Except when you say “we” should,” Rabé said impishly, “you really mean Eirtaé and I should, don’t you?”

“No, I -”

“I’m just teasing, Sabé. Although I suppose there’s not really much you can do in that gown.”

“Wonderful,” I said with sarcasm that I knew verged closely on bitterness. “I was just thinking it’s been at least ten minutes since someone reminded me how useless I am.”

“Useless?” she exclaimed. “You’re not being useless at all. Who is playing the role of decoy to perfection, at great personal cost, in order to protect the Queen? Who is stuck here enduring patiently while someone who shall remain nameless ventures into unnecessary danger, arguably for personal satisfaction?”

I looked down at the floor.

“Well, since I’m sure none of us know who Rabé is referring to,” said Eirtaé drily, “shall we make a start?”

***

We had just finished stowing away the Queen’s wardrobe and moved on the bedding when the ship gave a sudden lurch. I lost my footing and half-fell onto a bench. “What in the -” Rabé began, but was cut off by another lurch, and the blaring of the emergency alarm.

“We’re taking off!” cried Eirtaé. “The restraints, quick. Rabé, help me!”

Once again they strapped me in, then themselves. The ship steadied. We were moving quickly but smoothly, and I sensed we hadn’t risen far.

“What’s happening?” I asked no-one in particular. “Surely something’s gone wrong, there’s been some kind of -” My words caught in my mouth as the ship rose sharply, and then entered a steep climb. It seemed we were leaving Tatooine, but why now, why so suddenly and without warning?

I saw the same questions on the faces of my fellow handmaidens, but none of us had breath to speak. Rabé’s face was ashen, and Eirtaé didn’t look much better. The ship rocked - we were exiting the atmosphere - and then steadied.

The intercom crackled into life. “My deepest apologies, your highness.” came Panaka’s voice. “Qui-Gon Jinn was attacked as he returned to the ship. We had to make an emergency take-off to save him and escape from Tatooine. We’re about to attempt the jump to hyperspace. Are you safe?”

I nodded, then remembered myself and spoke. “Yes, Captain. We’ve followed emergency protocol and none of us were hurt.” I suddenly remembered the Queen, “Is Padmé -”

“Padmé’s here with me,” he said quickly. “She’s fine. Stay in the restraints while we make the jump. I’ll give you the all clear.”

I shut my eyes. Entering hyperspace was never comfortable, and I hadn’t done it for some time. As we made the jump it felt like my brain was being pulled out of my stomach through my feet, via my knees. I heard Rabé being sick opposite me. Then just as quickly, the sensation of motion stopped. We were travelling through space faster than light, but it felt like we were completely stationary. I breathed a sigh of relief. The hyperdrive had worked. I didn’t dare think what would have happened if it had been faulty.

“Are we all alright?” asked Eirtaé. “Rabé?”

She nodded, eyes closed. “I’ll be fine,” she said weakly.

Panaka’s voice came through the commlink. “All clear, your highness. We’re now headed for Coruscant. I suggest we all assemble in the Throne Room. Then we can all report and decide on our next course of action.”

_Do you need time?_ I mouthed to Rabé. She shook her head very carefully. “Thank you, Captain. We will be there as soon as we can.”

***

Padmé returned to the apartments almost immediately afterwards. While she changed back into her flame-coloured handmaiden’s robes, she briefed me on the situation as she understood it, and on her wishes. Panaka had shown her Sio Bibble’s message and she shared our doubts that it was a trap, but she agreed that it was too dangerous to try to contact Naboo. All we could do was get to Coruscant as quickly as possible, and hope that the Senate would come to our aid.

When we reached the throne room we found Captain Panaka, Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Ric Olié already assembled. Padmé took up a position by the door, directly in my eyeline.

Some courtesies were exchanged and enquiries after our wellbeing made, and then Ric Olié gave his report. The jump into hyperspace had been smooth, and the hyperdrive was in full working order. “We’re expecting to land on Coruscant in between two and three standard days. We would normally expect the journey time to be shorter, but there is unusual cosmic activity in the region of Sendil, and we can’t take any chances.”

“And our communications systems?” I asked.

Captain Panaka and Qui-Gon Jin exchanged a glance. “As far as we are aware, they are fully functional,” said the captain. But there’s no way of telling what kind of tracking system the Nemoidians are using. The presence of Master Jinn’s attacker on Tatooine seems to indicate they can bypass our communication shields, at least to some extent. We all agree that it’s too dangerous to send any outside transmissions until we’ve arrived safely at the capital.”

This corresponded to Padmé’s thinking. “Very well. What do you know of your attacker, Master Jinn?”

“Very little, I’m afraid, your highness. He is no Jedi, but he was clearly highly trained in the Jedi arts. It would appear that he is somehow connected with the Trade Federation, and that his aim was to intercept you - or worse.”

“So the Trade Federation are now hiring assassins?

“I fear so. As soon as we arrive on Coruscant I will report back to the Jedi Council and seek their guidance.”

“I understand your procurement of the hyperdrive was less than straightforward.”

Qui-Gon Jinn frowned slightly. “It was reasonably straightforward, your highness. We obtained it from a Toydarian trader, although it’s true that he took some persuading.” The nerve of the man! He must surely know that Padmé would have told me the whole story by now. Once she had calmed down somewhat, Padmé had reluctantly decided I shouldn’t bring Qui-Gon to task for his actions on Tatooine - when all was said and done he had now saved our lives twice, and the most important thing was to arrive safely on Tattoione. So I simply nodded and let Qui-Gon continue.

“I also took the liberty of inviting a boy who helped us to come with us to Coruscant. He is unusually strong in the Force, and the Council should meet him.”

“Is all well with the running of the ship?” I asked.

“Yes, your highness,” replied Panaka. “I have divided the crew into shifts, and they shouldn’t be unduly stretched.”

“Has your highness given thought to the approach you will take with the Senate?” asked Qui-Gon.

I bristled inwardly on Padmé's behalf at the idea that the Queen might not have considered this. “Of course. But our communications have been cut off for several days - the situation may have changed significantly. As soon as we arrive on Coruscant, we will go to Senator Palpatine and consult with him. Until then, there’s little to be gained by speculating what might be the best way to respond to unknown circumstances.”

“I think that wise,” said Qui-Gon Jinn, and I saw Obi-Wan duck his head very slightly at his words. It would appear his master’s words brought to his mind too our exchanges regarding Jedi and wisdom.

After a few more updates on practical matters relating to the running of the ship, the men departed to their respective tasks. For the first time in weeks, I felt the faintest stirrings of hope.

In just a couple of days, we would be safe on Coruscant. We would meet with Senator Palpatine, and with his wisdom and experience we would surely find a way to convince the Senate to help us. Padmé would resume her rightful place as Queen, and I could go back to being Sabé again. My time as decoy was drawing to an end.

 


	8. Limbo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters for you guys today :)

In the end, it took us the best part of four days to reach Coruscant. It was a strange time, to say the least. With no way of communicating with the outside world, we had no idea what was happening on Naboo, or on Coruscant. We didn’t even know if Senator Palpatine or Chancellor Valorum knew the Queen and the Jedi were alive - for all we knew, they might think us all dead in the invasion. All we could do was make our way, more slowly than we would have liked, towards Coruscant and safety.

We soon settled into a routine. Captain Panaka, Ric Olié and the Jedi would report twice a day, after breakfast and before the evening meal. It was little more than a formality, since our journey was uneventful and Padmé communicated with Panaka informally throughout these days.

Padmé considered that these twice-daily meetings provided sufficient public appearances for me, so I spent most of the rest of the time in the throne room or the royal apartments. It was a very lonely time. Normally at least one of the other handmaidens stayed with me, but unlike me they had the freedom at other times to mix with the rest of the ship’s party.

Padmé in particular spent a lot of time with our fellow travellers, clearly enjoying a rare opportunity to speak on level terms with her people. I saw very little of the boy Anakin or the Gungan Jar Jar - Qui-Gon’s “strays”, as Padmé more than once referred to them - and they both seemed somewhat in awe of me (or at least of my royal facade). The Jedi came to see me once or twice outside our formal meetings, but from what Rabé and Eirtaé said seemed to spend most of their time together and with Anakin.

Rabé and Eirtaé tried their best to keep my spirits up, but I found it extremely difficult to be so isolated from the rest of the ship, with very little to distract me from worries about what might be happening on Naboo. Every time any of the others shared a smile or exchanged a comment, it was a reminder that companionships and friendships were being developed in which I had no way of participating.

On the second evening, Padmé dismissed Rabé and Eirtaé early, and helped me get ready for bed by herself. Her brown eyes were solemn as she removed my makeup.

“I haven’t thanked you yet, have I?” she said. “For all you’re doing.” I looked down at my white-painted nails. “I’m sorry, Sabé. I’ve been so pre-occupied with everything. You’re doing an amazing job. How are you finding it?”

“It’s . . .” I couldn’t tell her everything I was feeling. “It’s challenging. But I knew what I was agreeing to when I said I would be your decoy.” That wasn’t quite true - how could I have foreseen all that would happen?

She smiled sympathetically. “I bet you didn’t think boredom would feature so prominently.”

“Maybe not. But we’ve already had quite enough excitement - too much. And besides, I’m not sure boredom is the right word for this.”

“I suppose not. Thank you, Sabé. For everything. I know it’s costing you, and I am deeply, deeply grateful.”

I tried to find the words to thank her, to tell her how much her approval meant to me, but I found I couldn’t speak, and just nodded, blinking back tears.

She began to take the pins out of my hair, one by one. I watched her reflection in the mirror, until I felt I could speak again. “I’ve not seen you wearing that necklace before.”

Her hand went to the pendant at her throat and she smiled. “Anakin made it for me. He carved it out of a japor snippet.”

“What’s a japor snippet?’

She laughed. “I’ve no idea. Some kind of tree, I imagine. He was so sweet about it; I didn’t want to admit I didn’t know what it was.”

I saw the warmth in her smile. “You really like him, don’t you?”

“I do. He’s so kind, so generous-hearted. He was a _slave_ , Sabé. You’d think he would be so used to struggling for his own survival that he would close himself off from others, but he was so keen to help us.”

“What are his parents like?”

“It’s just his mother - his father isn’t around. There’s a story there, I think, and I’m sure Qui-Gon knows more than he’s letting on. She’s wonderful - kind, wise and strong. You can tell she’s done everything she could for her son.”

“Do you know why Qui-Gon is taking him to Coruscant?”

“I think he means for him to train as a Jedi.”

“Surely he’s too old? I thought they started their training as infants, or toddlers at least.”

“That’s what I thought too. But I’m sure Qui-Gon has a plan. He normally does,” she added darkly.

I thought about the little boy I’d seen, so young and yet so grown up. “I can’t imagine what must be like for them,” I said. “He’s just a boy, and he’s taken from his mother, from everything he’s known.

“Oh, he wanted to leave,” said Padmé “And Shmi supported it. She knows it’s a way for him to find a better life.”

“I suppose so, but for them to be separated, knowing they might never see each other again…”

“I think they will,” said Padmé. “So do they. You know Qui-Gon tried to free her too? I was watching them on Tatooine - I think there’s something between them. I’m certain he’ll go back for her when this is all over.”

“What do you mean, something between them?”

“What does that always mean? I think he has feelings for her, and she for him.”

“I thought Jedi weren’t supposed to have those kinds of relationships.”

“Apparently it’s not as uncommon as you might think. I was talking to Obi-Wan about it.”

I swung round on my chair to look up at her. “You were _what_?” I found it hard to picture my Queen and the serious apprentice talking about the love lives of Jedi, and I said as much.

She laughed. “Oh, he’s not that bad, once he’s relaxed at bit. He can be a touch pompous, but once he forgets he’s trying to be on his dignity he’s actually quite pleasant to be around.”

I turned back to the mirror, and thought about my limited interactions with Kenobi. “He was kind to me when we were stranded on Tatooine.”

“Well, there you are then. He was saying it’s a widespread misconception that Jedi don’t take lovers. Apparently Jedi thinking on the matter has changed over the centuries - at some points they’ve been more accommodating of romantic relationships, and at some points less less so. The convention these days is that Jedi should be celibate, but it’s not a universally-held position, not by any means. Apparently even some of the Council have had lovers - it’s just not talked about much.”

“So you think that’s why Qui-Gon wants to free Anakin’s mother?”

“Well, not the only reason. Maddening as the man is, he’s clearly very principled, and a good man. I think he’d free all the slaves on Tatooine if he could. As it is, I know he wants to find a way to reunite Shmi with Anakin. And I’m also sure he has a more personal motivation.”

I could imagine women being drawn to Qui-Gon Jinn, with his calm strength and powerful presence, but I found it more difficult to picture him courting a woman. “Well, one way or another, I hope Anakin sees his mother again.”

“So do I. And I mean to help him if I can” She gave my hair a final stroke of the brush. “There. We’re due in Coruscant early in the morning - we’d both better get some rest.”

 


	9. Coruscant

Coruscant was like no other planet I’d ever seen. I’d visited the capital before, but it had been some time ago, and I’d forgotten the impact it made on the approach. Against the darkness of space, Coruscant was first visible as a glowing tracery of lights from the skyscrapers that covered the entire planet. To someone like myself, born and raised in the mountains and valleys of Naboo, and to whom Theed seemed huge and impressive, Coruscant was almost overwhelming. Closer to, shining skyscrapers stretched from horizon to horizon like a vast steel forest, with clouds of vapour and pollution for branches, and transports for birds.

For once, I was grateful for my mask-like face-paint, and to the necessity of maintaining an inscrutable facade - I could not allow myself the luxury of being overcome by the impression Coruscant made. I stood with Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi in the hatchway, watching through the small window as we neared our destination. Panaka, Jar Jar and Anakin formed a group next to the Jedi, and Padmé, Eirtaé and Rabé waited behind me, silent as ever.

Beside me, Qui-Gon Jinn let out a slow breath that could almost have been a sigh, and then turned to me. “Your highness, as soon as we land I must report to the Jedi Council. They need to hear about your attacker.” His grey-blue eyes were solemn, but kind. “I will not say goodbye, as I have a feeling we will encounter each other again soon. But it has been a privilege to meet you and your people.”

Somehow I had expected the Jedi would accompany us on Coruscant. On reflection, there was no particular reason why they should, but I found it somewhat unsettling to find we would be parting so suddenly. “I hope you are right, Master Jinn, and that we do meet again. We owe you our lives. On behalf of my people, I thank you for all you have done for us - and you too, Jedi Kenobi.”

Obi-Wan bowed. “It has been an honour, your highness.”

I turned back to the window, hoping they couldn’t see just how much my apprehension had increased with the news of their imminent departure. I could just about make out a small figure on a landing platform ahead, and as we drew closer I saw it was Senator Palpatine.

The feeling of relief was almost immediate. Palpatine would know what to do, and would be able to convince the Senate to help us. The Jedi had saved our lives and escorted us safely to the capital, but soon we would be with the Senator and under his personal protection, far more secure than we had been at any point since the blockade began.

As the doorway lowered, I saw that Palpatine had been joined by none other than Supreme Chancellor Valorum himself. The Supreme Chancellor looked grave and almost severe next to Senator Palpatine, with his genial smile and relaxed demeanour.

The Jedi, Panaka, Jar Jar and Anakin preceded me out of the ship. They bowed deeply to the two politicians, then moved aside for me. As I approached, I met Obi-Wan’s gaze. He seemed concerned, almost anxious, in stark contrast to the Senator, who greeted me warmly.

“It is a great gift to see you alive, your majesty. With the communications breakdown we’ve been very concerned. I’m anxious to hear your report on the situation. May I present Supreme Chancellor Valorum.”

The Chancellor bowed. “Welcome, your highness. It’s an honour to finally meet you in person.”

“Thank you, Supreme Chancellor,” I replied. I hoped fervently that Valorum would not want to have an extended conversation now. That would surely be beyond my capabilities as decoy.

“I must relay to you how distressed everyone is over the current situation. I’ve called for a special session of the Senate to hear your position.”

“I’m grateful for your concern, Chancellor.” Palpatine made an infinitesimal gesture away from Valorum, and I was relieved to leave the Chancellor behind and head towards the transport.

Palpatine took up the conversation. “There is a question of procedure, but I’m confident we can overcome it. The Senate meets tomorrow morning, and we have much to discuss before then. But you must of course be tired from your long journey - I will leave you to rest before we meet. My entire apartment is at your personal disposal. My secretary is arranging accommodation for the rest of your party as we speak, and will be in contact with Captain Panaka soon.”

“My handmaidens remain with me,” I said - hopefully not to quickly.

“Naturally - you will see there is plenty of room. And the rest of your party will be accommodated close by.” He turned in his seat to smile at Anakin and Jar Jar. “I can see your journey has been eventful.”

“It certainly has, Senator. Allow me to introduce Jar Jar Binks, a Gungan from the city of Otoh Gunga, and Anakin Skywalker, from Mos Espa on Tatooine.”

Jar Jar placed a webbed hand on his chest, and bowed from the waist. Anakin stuck out a hand and gave the Senator a shy smile.

Palpatine was clearly charmed. He took Anakin’s hand and shook it gently. “You are very welcome, Anakin Skywalker. Any friend of my Queen’s is a friend of mine.”

Anakin looked up at me, questioning - _am I your friend? -_ and I couldn’t help smiling. “Anakin was a great help to us when we were stranded on Tatooine, Chancellor. As a matter of fact, it was he who enabled us to escape.”

Palpatine’s eyebrows raised. “Indeed? That is most impressive. I greatly look forward to hearing that part of your story.”

We settled back in our seats, and I gazed out at the Coruscant skyscape. There was a certain kind of beauty in it, I supposed, but it seemed cold and almost sinister compared to the woods and waters of my homeland. Surely it would not be long before we could return to Naboo? With Palpatine’s help and the support of Chancellor Valorum, surely the Trade Federation would be expulsed from Naboo very shortly.

Moreover, Padmé was due to resume her royal role very soon. As soon as we were left alone in the Senator’s apartments we would switch places, and I could be Sabé again. I closed my eyes for a moment. Serving as the Queen’s decoy had been the most demanding experience of my life, but it was nearly over.

***

Before the Trade Federation’s invasion, every time Amidala and I had practiced trading places, we had changed carefully, slowly, meticulously. But now, just as before our departure from Theed, the switch took place faster than I would have thought possible back in those peaceful days. In what seemed like no time at all our Queen was back, and I was a handmaiden again.

As I removed the last traces of white polish from my nails, I watched Rabé weave Amidala’s hair into a thick braid that fell from the crown of her pearl-encrusted headdress almost to the backs of her knees. For this meeting with the Senator, Amidala had chosen a many-layered gown of silver-greys and purples, with wide, hanging sleeves and a diamond-patterned sash. After what seemed like such a long time - had it only been a few days? - seeing Padmé in her handmaiden’s gown, I felt a kind of awe to see her back in her royal robes.

My sisters and I were dressed in dark green gowns with deep-cowled  purple hoods. I’m sure Rabé and Eirtaé found them stiff and restrictive after the dresses they had worn on our journey from Naboo, but after days in the black feathered gown the simply-cut gown felt like the lightest and most comfortable outfit I’d ever worn.

“Sabé, you stay here,” said Amidala. “I’ll put out word that I’m expecting an extra attendant to serve as handmaiden while I’m on Naboo, to explain your presence, but even so it’s best if you remain here away from attention for a while. Besides, I’m sure you could do with a rest.”

I bowed. “Thank you, your highness.” In truth I would much rather have gone with her to the meeting with Palpatine - but I certainly saw the wisdom in me avoiding being seen in public.

In what seemed like no time at all the three of them had left to go to Palpatine’s parlour. It was only on the other side of his apartments, but his quarters on Coruscant were so large that I could neither see nor hear them from the suite we were occupying. After the frantic rush of our preparations, the silence was disorientating.

I busied myself tidying away the remains of our hurried toilette. I inspected our travelling outfits for damage - there were a few minor repairs needed - and hung them to air in a side chamber. Then I reviewed again the ensembles we had brought with us, along with a small selection of outfits that remained permanently on Coruscant.

Among them was the scarlet and gold ensemble I assumed the Queen would wear to the Senate the next day. It was the first outfit Amidala had commissioned after her election, and had been designed specifically for Senate appearances. It was the richest and most ornate gown in the royal wardrobe, with layers of beading and embroidery in all the signature styles of Naboo’s main couture houses. With its full skirts and elaborate horned headdress, it was designed to make an overwhelmingly royal impression, and I was certain it would.

Padmé, Eirtaé and Rabé returned to our suite late that evening, just as I was finishing repairs to the lace of the black gown. The Queen was more agitated than I’d seen her since the invasion. Palpatine had apparently painted a bleak picture of the Senate’s ability - and possibly even willingness - to help, and they had spent hours working on her address to the Senate. Padmé had never been very comfortable just waiting, and I doubted she would be able to get much sleep tonight.

After we had changed for bed, by some unspoken agreement we gathered in the room Padmé and I were to share (Eirtaé and Rabé would share the neighbouring one). Padmé and I sat cross-legged on our maroon-covered beds, and Eirtaé seated herself on the floor. Rabé dimmed the lights and poured wine for us all.

For a while we just sat in silence, gazing into our wine. Eirtaé leaned back against the wall, her eyes closed. 

“What do you think is happening on Naboo, right now?” Rabé asked softly.

Eirtaé’s eyes snapped open, then she squeezed them shut again. “I don’t want to think about it. And I can’t help thinking about it.”

I felt the same. During the day I’d found enough to occupy my mind to stop myself thinking too much about it, but now I couldn’t think about anything else.

“Governor Bibble is a wise and capable leader,” said Padmé, her voice thick. “I’m sure he is doing his best to -” her throat closed up. Her chin trembled, and the Queen - our strong, dependable Queen, always in command of herself - began to cry.

Her tears seemed to release something in us. One by one, for the first time since we had left Naboo, we talked unreservedly about our fears over what might be happening back home.

Padmé was most worried about her father Ruwee, who had had a heart attack soon after the beginning of the Trade Federation’s blockade, and was not in good health. I was very anxious about my little brother Tevi, who had just started boarding school in the Lake Country - he was so young to be separated from our parents at a time like this. Rabé spoke for the first time of her sweetheart back in her home village. They had been on the point of getting engaged when she entered the Queen’s service, and now Rabé wondered if she’d ever see him again.

Eirtaé was silent for a long while, staring at nothing. Then she said simply, “I hope Saché and Yané are safe.”

“Safe?” I echoed. “I doubt that. They’ve probably identified what will inconvenience the Trade Federation the most and set out to do it.” Eirtaé met my eyes and we both smiled. It shouldn’t have been a comforting thought, but somehow it was. We knew our sisters certainly wouldn’t be making life easy for the invaders.

After that, we lapsed into silence again, until Rabé started softly singing an old Naboo water song under her breath. It was one we’d all known for longer than we could remember, and one by one we joined in until we were all singing together

 

_By the shore I will sleep_

_Deeply sleep, safely sleep_

_By the shore I will sleep_

_I will sleep in peace_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you see the long look Obi-Wan gives Sabé as she approaches Palpatine and Valorum? DID YOU SEE IT??
> 
> The Naboo water songs idea comes from Mermaidism’s ridiculously beautiful series of handmaiden vignettes, “Memento Mori”. PLEASE check them out if you haven’t already, but keep a tissue handy because feels. (https://archiveofourown.org/works/6964909/chapters/15879022)


	10. Preparation

The next morning we woke before dawn to prepare for the Senate. We had no idea when we would be called to speak, so we had to be ready. In silence, we dressed the Queen in the rose-gold undergown, then the crimson overgown. She seemed almost absurdly tiny and fragile, swallowed up in layers of velvet and taffeta.

For the first time since I had posed as the Queen, I painted the royal makeup on Amidala’s face. She was pale, so pale that initially the white paint only seemed to give a bluish tint to her skin. For the first time I noticed the faintest of lines between her brows and at the corners of her mouth. When had they appeared? And did I too bear these marks of our trials on my face?

The Queen sat with her eyes closed as I applied the finishing touches to the makeup which lessened the physical traces that worry had left on her face. The rest of her betrayed none of that fear. Her back was straight and her jaw was set - she was ready to do battle for our people.

Rabé arranged the Queen’s hair and headdress while Eirtaé and I donned the black and grey gowns we would wear into the Senate - Rabé would stay behind. The sombre colours meant we would blend into the background in the Senate chamber, ensuring that all the attention was where it should be - on our Queen. The outfits may have been entirely successful in fulfilling their purpose, but they were the most uncomfortable I had ever worn in my service as handmaiden, heavy and stiff.

When we turned back to Amidala, she was ready - and she took my breath away. Gone was the delicate girl swamped by her lavish robes - here was our Queen, beautiful and strong, wearing her opulence like a second skin.

Deeply moved, I bowed as low as I could in my cumbersome outfit, and saw out of the corner of my eye Eirtaé follow suit. “Your highness,” I whispered. “If anyone can persuade the Senate to help us, it is you.”

Amidala took my hand and squeezed it as I straightened up. “I hope you are right, Sabé. I hope you are right.”

I jumped when the door of the antechamber buzzed. “I’ll get it,” said Rabé, and walked away.

“Come now,” said the Queen, wiping from my cheek a tear I hadn’t even realised had fallen. “Now is not the time for that.” Her words might have been firm, but her voice was gentle, kind. I was ashamed - it should have been me encouraging her, strengthening her, not the other way round.

I nodded, and vowed to myself I would continue imitating the Queen’s strength even now I hid behind my handmaiden’s cloak and hood. I went to finish tidying the the wardrobe.

When Rabé reappeared with Anakin Skywalker, I froze. It took me a moment to remember my face was hidden in my deep-cowled hood, that there was no way he would recognise me. I hoped fervently he had heard that the Queen was expecting another handmaiden, or he might think I was his Padmé.

“Who is it?” called Amidala to Rabé from the corner of the chamber, hidden from Anakin’s view.

“Anakin Skywalker, to see Padmé, your highness.”

When she emerged, Anakin looked at her with not a trace of recognition, and bowed deeply.

“I’ve sent Padmé on an errand,” the Queen said.

Anakin was visibly disappointed. “I’m on my way to the Jedi Temple, to start my training, I hope. I may never see her again, so I came to say goodbye.”

Rabé looked at the Queen, to see how she would respond. Amidala had her back to me, but I could imagine her face as she spoke - cool, impassive, but not without compassion. “We will tell her for you. We are sure her heart goes with you.”

Anakin bowed again. “Thank you, your highness.”

Amidala turned back to her chamber, and in her face I could see the faintest hint of the pain it must be causing her not to be able to say a proper goodbye to the boy who had saved all our lives and had so quickly become her friend.

I returned to tidying the wardrobe as the door closed in the antechamber. I thought it was Anakin leaving, but then heard a less familiar voice ask a question and Anakin’s higher voice reply. After a moment, Anakin reappeared at the side of Senator Palpatine, Captain Panaka just behind them. I called Amidala over with a glance.

“Good morning, your majesty,” said the Senator. He did not seem quite as relaxed as he had the previous day. “I trust you slept well?”

“As well as can be expected, given the circumstances. Has the session begun?”

“Only just. I suspect it will be some time before they summon us, but I thought it would be wise to review your speech again before we are called to the chamber.”

“Of course. There will no doubt be some modifications to make. Though I must speak plainly Senator, my feelings regarding your suggestion yesterday have not changed.” The Queen hadn’t talked much last night about her speech, but a slight edge to her voice betrayed a tension between the two politicians.

The Senator was as courteous as ever in his response. “Well, naturally it is entirely your prerogative to decide what you will say to the Senate. But I fear you will not find them as ready to listen and act as they should be.”

“I am certain you are right in that. But I will try my utmost to persuade the Senate that their direct and swift intervention is necessary.”

“And I hope with all my heart that you can.” He smiled down at Anakin at his side. “I met young master Skywalker as I arrived. I hear he hopes to train as a Jedi, and I thought it would be useful for him to witness some of the inner workings of the Senate before he begins his training. That is of course, if you have no objections, your majesty?”

Amidala’s gaze softened a she looked at the boy, and she nodded. “Rabé can stay with him when we enter the chamber, and watch the proceedings here.”

Rabé took this as her cue. She led Anakin over to a couch at the side of the room, and gestured to him to sit next to hear. Eirtaé and I turned back to the wardrobe, and finished tidying away while Palpatine, Panaka and the Queen began to review her speech for the final time.

I was again in awe of her skill. To call her work a speech didn’t do justice to her preparations. She had prepared it in sections that could be included or omitted according to the response of the Senate. In some sections she berated the Senate for their inaction and shamed them for their hypocrisy. In others, she gently cajoled them to act, reminding them of how they had embodied the values of the Republic in previous interventions across the galaxy. But I still couldn’t guess what suggestion of Palpatine she had rejected.

By the time one of the secretaries of the Senate came to call us to the chamber, Amidala must have rehearsed each section of her speech half a dozen times. Eirtaé and I fell in behind Amidala as she followed Palpatine and Panaka to the door. But then she stopped so suddenly I nearly trod on the hem of her robe.

“Wait. I will not face them like this.” She turned and called back to Rabé. “The cloak.”

“Your highness?” Rabé couldn’t surpress her surprise.

“The cloak, Rabé.” She turned back to Palpatine. “This is a grave moment in our history. I cannot appear before the Senate dressed in gold and jewels like this, as if I were going to a - a midwinter feast.”

I hurried to help Rabé. The fur cloak was so heavy it took both of us to carry it and drape it over the Queen’s shoulders. Now most of the gown was covered, and the rich fabrics and ornate beading and embroidery only showed in the centre where the edges of the cloak didn't quite meet.

As I straightened from arranging the drape of the cloak, I could see Palpatine and Panaka were clearly displeased with the Queen’s modification of her outfit - but for once they didn’t seek to change her mind. When she was ready, we left Rabé and Anakin in the apartment and headed for the Senate building.

We sat in silence as we took a transport across Coruscant. The Queen’s face was a mask again, betraying nothing, and Palpatine’s was the same. Only Panaka showed the strain we all felt, his shoulders tense, the lines deep on his face, and his hands clenching and unclenching as we sped towards the Senate.

 


	11. No Confidence

I had thought nothing could be more awful than the invasion of Naboo.  I had thought nothing could be worse than the fear and revulsion of watching the Federation’s army take over our beautiful capital and imprison our people. But somehow, the proceedings in the Senate exceeded everything that had come before.

Amidala had barely finished the first sentence of her speech when she had been interrupted by the objections of the Trade Federation’s senator. The Senate was immediately mired in protocol, in the supposed necessity to establish a commission to investigate her “allegations” - with no mention of the Jedi’s comparable mission and how it had ended. The Queen’s masterful arguments were silenced before they had even begun.

I had thought she would fight to speak, force the Senate to listen to what she had to say. But instead she resorted to the move Palpatine had been advocating. She stunned me, and sent shockwaves through the Senate, when she called for a vote of no confidence in Chancellor Valorum.

The session ended with the Senate in disarray, delegates fighting to speak over each other and argue for or against the motion. Only Amidala stood silent, surveying the chaos her words had prompted.

Back in Palpatine’s apartment, the Queen announced her desire for solitude. After a time she would of course need to consult with Palpatine over their next move, but first it appeared she needed time to reflect on her own, to consider the situation as it now stood. 

She retained Eirtaé and Rabé to help her change, but me she dismissed, saying I had earned some time to myself. She encouraged me to leave the apartments, saying it should be safe now and that I should get a change of scene. Perhaps I should have argued, insisted on staying with my sisters and making myself useful, but in truth I too felt the need to be alone with my thoughts for a while.

As I made my way out of the apartment building, I had no idea where to go - I only knew I had to leave the building, to get out of the Senate district entirely and find space to think, space to just _be_. Then I remembered the only time in the last few weeks I had felt almost at peace, sitting silently in the solar while Kenobi mediated, and I headed for the Jedi Temple.

***

Most of the vast Temple complex was off-limits to non-Jedi, but there was still a sizeable area that was publicly accessible, including extensive gardens. I made my way down a long, wide hall on the north side of the building. On one side of the hall was the public-access archive, a fraction of the size of the main Jedi Archives housed elsewhere in the complex. On the other side, doors led to reading rooms, lecture halls, meditation chambers; all available to non-Jedi who wished to study Jedi history and philosophy.

There were a fair number of people around, both Jedi and non-Jedi. People spoke quietly, in voices that were low but not hushed - although this was a place of peace, it was clearly still a place of some activity. After the stilted formalities of the Senate, and the mix of frantic preparation and anxious inaction that had preceded it, it the hall was a soothing environment, calm but not sombre.

Unsurprisingly for a planet like Coruscant, the gardens were not open to the air. Nevertheless, the transparisteel roof was so high, and the air so fresh and fragrant with plants that it felt almost like being outside - almost. To a native Naboo, only the outdoors could feel truly like the outdoors. I recognised a few of the plants, but most were unfamiliar. At this time of year few plants were blooming, but here and there fragile-looking, wide-petalled white flowers poked through the leaves.

I found a bench in a quiet corner of the garden and sat watching the other visitors. The emotions of the day hovered at the edge of my thoughts, and I knew they wouldn’t stay at bay for long, but for the time being I felt a numbness that I knew was no substitute for peace. A group of youngsters sat together on the grass, talking and studying. A middle-aged Jedi meditated by a pond.

A young Jedi, apparently only a few years older than me but with grey already showing streaks in her hair, sat next to a man of about the same age on a bench across the garden from me. They weren’t touching, but it was clear from their body language and the looks that passed between them that they were more than friends. I thought about what Padmé had said about Jedi and their lovers, and wondered how their peers and the Council viewed this relationship, and whether the couple had to fight against the disapproval of the Order.

A little boy ran across the grass, chasing a ball, and chased in turn by his father. An older woman - the boy’s grandmother? - stood watching them, smiling. The boy caught the ball and turned to his father, laughing. And somehow the sight of this pure joy released all the emotions that had been lying in wait for me, and suddenly I was crying as if I would never, ever stop.

From the moment the blockade began, we had put our hope in the Senate. _When the ambassadors arrive . . . When we get to Coruscant . . . When the Queen appeals to the Senate…._ Again and again we had looked ahead to when the Senate would come to our aid, and now it had failed us. Not in a dramatic refusal to listen or to help us, but in stagnation and inaction. Our final hope had failed, and I couldn’t see a way for our planet to be saved. What was the good of the Republic if it couldn’t protect a defenceless planet like Naboo from the greed and ambition of the Trade Federation?

All the tears I had held back since the beginning of the blockade fell streaming down my face, through my fingers, soaking the sleeves of my gown. No one interrupted my tears - perhaps they were used to people weeping in this garden. It felt like I would never stop crying, but after some time - I’ve no idea how long - I found that my tears were slowing, my breathing gradually becoming more even.

I sat staring at the grass for a good while longer, exhausted and numb. Eventually, almost automatically, I readied myself to return to Palpatine’s apartments. I straightened my gown, splashed water from the pond in my face, tidied my hair as best as I could, and made my way back through the halls of the Temple.

I stopped in the entrance hall, where one of the holo screens was playing footage of the Senate’s session, and watched as they replayed Amidala’s brief speech. I had been seated behind her in the Senate chamber, and so hadn’t been able to see her face. But now, watching the holo screen, I could see the pain in her voice reflected in her expression.

Suddenly, I could watch it no longer. I turned away, and nearly walked straight into Obi-Wan Kenobi.

“Padmé, I’m sorry -“ he began, then corrected himself with a start. “Your highness, I -“ His eyes flicked between my face and Amidala’s image behind me, then widened as he realised the truth. “What in -“

“Not here!” I whispered urgently. “Can we go somewhere we won’t be overheard?”

Ensconced in a booth nearby, I explained everything as quickly and as clearly as I could. There was no sense in hiding anything now. When I had finished, he sat for a while gazing at nothing, stroking his chin with his thumb. My commlink beeped, but I ignored it.

Finally, he spoke. “So the woman we thought was the Queen - it was you all that time?” I nodded. “When did you switch back?”

“As soon as we could after we arrived at Senator Palpatine’s apartments.”

He thought for a while, then said, “So it was the _Queen_ who went with Qui Gon to Mos Espa? Oh, she won’t have liked that!”

Despite myself, I smiled. “She didn’t. She was fuming when she got back.”

“I’m not surprised. My master’s methods can be somewhat  . . . unorthodox.”

He studied me carefully, and I could tell he was comparing me to Padmé, and imagining me as I had been, dressed in royal robes. I didn’t like being scrutinised in this way but I met his gaze squarely.

“It’s a very impressive impersonation. You look, speak and act exactly like Amidala.”

“That is rather the point of the endeavour,” I said, somewhat sharply.

“My apologies, I didn’t mean to be patronising. It’s just that it’s - extraordinary.”

“You won’t tell anyone, will you?”

“Well, I’ll have to tell Qui-Gon of course. But no one else, I assure you.”

“No - you can’t even tell Master Jinn. Please.”

“Whyever not?” He frowned. “I hope by now we’ve proved you can trust us.”

“Of course you have, but that’s not the point.”

“Then what is?”

I searched for the words to put across my concerns. “The more people who know, the greater the chance that we’ll be discovered, and the more risk the Queen is exposed to. It’s not that I’m afraid you or Master Jinn would willingly reveal our tactic, but we’d be foolish to underestimate what could cause suspicion. 

“I know you’re Jedi, I know you would both be discreet,” I said, seeing he was about to object, “but the briefest glance to the wrong person at the wrong time, the slightest deference to Padmé - anything like that could be enough to set off a train of thought that could lead to our discovery and put the Queen’s life at risk. We have no idea in what situations we may need to use the disguise in the future, and what may depend on its success. And there could end up being situations when Qui-Gon would prefer not to know, given the choice - situations where if he knew Padmé’s true identity he might not feel able to take a course of action that is needed.”

Obi-Wan was silent for a while, clearly weighing up what I had said. My commlink beeped again, and I silenced it. “I’m not in the habit of keeping secrets from my master,” he said finally. “But in this case, I see the need for it. Your secret is safe with me.”

I sank back into my chair with relief. “Thank you, Jedi Kenobi, this is -”

“Obi-Wan, please,” he interrupted me with a smile. “I would think that we are now by definition on first name terms. Wouldn’t you agree, Sabé?”

I smiled back at him. “It would appear so. Thank you, Obi-Wan.”

“And it appears I may soon have the chance to see your disguise at work again.”

“What do you mean?”

“You didn’t know we’ve been ordered to accompany you back to Naboo?”

“We’re going back to Naboo already?”

“The Queen informed the Council a short while ago. Senator Palpatine has been nominated to replace Supreme Chancellor Valorum, but Amidala feels any change will happen too slowly to help Naboo. She has decided to return and take her chances with the Trade Federation.”

“But why -” I remembered my now silenced commlink. “She’s been trying to reach me.” I checked my commlink and saw Eirtaé’s repeated signal. I stood up abruptly. “I’ve got to get back, now. What’s the quickest way to -“

“I’ll show you,” he said, taking my arm and leading me towards a small door not far from our booth. “There’s a shortcut directly to the transports.”

The door turned out to be a lift, which we took to the main floor, and then a short passage took us directly to the hangar. Obi-Wan flagged down a transport, opened the door for me and gave directions to the pilot. “Goodnight, madam.” He was suddenly formal - he’d obviously realised the risks of publicly addressing me by name and as an acquaintance. “Perhaps we’ll meet again.”

“I hope so, Jedi Kenobi. Thank you, again - for everything.” He bowed, and the transport sped away. He remained visible for a few moments in the dying light, before his dark-robed figure faded into the dusk.

I settled myself into my chair and breathed deeply. I had no idea what we would find on Naboo - but we were going home.

 


	12. The Strategy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gutted it’s the last day of Sobiweek? ME TOO! I have loved having new Sobi content every day, and I wish every week could be Sobiweek! Thank you SO MUCH to our glorious leaders handmaiclen and Khaleesa for organising this, I hope you’ve enjoyed it as much as I have!
> 
> We’re slightly over half way through the Decoy, and I’ll continue posting a new chapter daily (or thereabouts) until the end. So Sobitember will continue in this little corner of the interwebs :)

I returned to Senator Palpatine’s apartments to find preparations for our departure were already well under way. Eirtaé was supervising the packing up of our belongings, and Rabé was elsewhere, sourcing combat clothes for the four of us. Amidala was in conference with the Senator and Panaka.

As I joined in the packing, Eirtaé quickly brought me up to date, and confirmed what Obi-Wan had said. “. . . So while the Senate seems to move slower than an elderly shaak, in this case it’s actually managed to make a decision - Senator Palpatine has been nominated to succeed Valorum as Supreme Chancellor.”

I didn’t want to explain how I already knew about this, so I feigned surprise. “He has? That’s wonderful! Surely now the Senate will have to listen. How did he take the news that we’re returning to Naboo?”

“Not well. He thinks the Queen is endangering her life and the lives of us all in a fool’s errand, for the sake of principles that achieve nothing. Not that he put it like that of course.”

“What do you think she means to do?”

“Fight, of course. Free her people or die trying.” Eirtaé’s eyes were grim.

“You think it will come to that?”

“Maybe. I think the Federation would prefer to keep her alive, to sign a treaty and to minimise complications with the Republic - but if they had to, I think they would kill her. However, I don’t for a moment think she’ll give them a chance.”

“So you think she has a plan?”

“Of course.” There was steel in her smile. “When does she not?”

Soon Rabé returned, a triumphant smile on her face. It turned out that our standard combat outfits, burgundy coloured battle dresses made from blast-absorbing fabric, were actually on Coruscant being upgraded. And by some miracle she had managed to obtain a truly regal battle ensemble for Amidala from a Mandalorian baroness.

She gazed at the striking red and black outfit with almost maternal pride. “Some day, when this is all over, I’ll tell you all the favours I had to call in - and owe - in order to get this.”  She rubbed the scarlet fabric of the sleeve with a thumb. “I only wish it co-ordinated better with our battle wear.”

I laughed, for what felt like the first time in months. “Only you would worry about that, Rabé.”

Personally, I thought it looked rather uncomfortable, particularly the heavy-looking headdress. From our many training sessions, I knew that our burgundy combat dresses were extremely practical and easy to move in, and I was glad I would be wearing one. The outfit Rabé had found for the Queen? Amidala was welcome to it.

***

We left Coruscant early the next morning. It was an indescribable relief to be accompanying the Queen as a handmaiden once more, silent and anonymous in the flame-coloured velvet gowns that felt as comfortable as casualwear after days in the black feathered gown. 

Unlike our previous takeoffs, this one went entirely according to procedure, and after the jump to lightspeed we assembled in the throne room - all save the boy Anakin, who was “helping” Ric Olié in the cockpit.

“He really is an exceptionally gifted pilot,” said Qui-Gon Jinn, smiling. “At any age his skills would be impressive, but in so young a boy . . . The Jedi Council have not yet decided if they will allow him to be trained, but I cannot see how they could choose otherwise.”

“I sincerely hope they will agree, Master Jinn,” said the Queen. “He risked and sacrificed so much for us. I hope the course of his life’s river will be smooth.”

“A Jedi’s life is rarely smooth, your highness. But I think it is a life that would suit Anakin very well.”

From my position at Amidala’s shoulder, I saw Panaka shift his weight somewhat. The Queen must also have noticed his impatience with what I presume he saw as unnecessary small talk, because she moved the conversation to the matter at hand. “I thank you, Master Jinn, and you too, Obi-Wan Kenobi, for accompanying us again. Your presence will be invaluable as we fight for Naboo.”

Panaka could contain himself no longer. “Your highness, I really am concerned by this course of action. As soon as we land, the Federation will arrest you and force you to sign the treaty.”

“I agree,” said Qui-Gon. “I’m not sure what you wish to accomplish by this.”

The Queen’s composure did not waver. “I will take back what’s ours.”

“There are too few of us, your highness. We have no army.” Panaka was clearly perplexed, and I couldn’t blame him. I was coming to learn that Amidala’s decisions could be bold and sometimes risky, but the risks were always calculated. I had faith she had a plan - but what? 

“And I can only protect you,” added Jinn. “I can’t fight a war for you.”

“Jar Jar Binks,” said the Queen. I’d almost forgotten he was there. Despite his height and his - to me - strange appearance, it was somehow easy to overlook his presence.

“Mesa, your highness?” From the look on his face, I’m sure he wished he was anywhere else at that moment.

“Yes.” I couldn’t see her face, but I could hear the smile that had crept into her voice. “I need your help.”

Despite the seriousness of the situation, it took all my self-control not to smile as the Queen explained her plan, to recruit the Gungan army in the fight to reclaim Naboo. Jar Jar was so shocked he could barely speak, and Panaka, normally so controlled, watched the Queen with open amazement.

The Jedi were more composed. Qui-Gon’s expression was hard to read, and although Obi-Wan was clearly skeptical he didn’t voice a protest.

For a few moments I wondered what Obi-Wan made of our group. Did he know Amidala was the true Queen, or did he think she was me in disguise? I hadn’t noticed him looking at us more closely than before, but if he didn’t know who was who, then he must surely be wondering.

I sincerely hoped he hadn’t told his master of our ruse - he had promised not to, and I sensed he was a man who kept his promises, but I couldn’t help worrying that he might have felt compelled to reveal our secret. Amidala had not been pleased when I had told her about our conversation at the Jedi Temple, but she agreed that given the circumstances I had done the right thing in revealing our strategy to Obi-Wan.

I forced myself to turn my attention back to the conversation. Following the Queen’s entreaties, and a little cajoling from the Jedi, Jar Jar had agreed to speak to the Gungans on our behalf, although he was clearly extremely apprehensive about the prospect. I hoped the Queen’s trust in him was well placed.

Panaka had been silent for a while. Once the Queen had secured Jar Jar’s co-operation and the surprisingly warm approval of the Jedi, she turned to him. “And you, Captain? What do you say to this?”

He paused a moment before replying. “Your highness, I still have some concerns. Perhaps I might speak with you privately?”

Somewhat to my surprise, Qui-Gon didn’t attempt to persuade Panaka to voice his concerns before the whole group. “With your permission, your highness, if we are finished here I will go and check on Anakin.”

Amidala nodded her approval, and Qui-Gon bowed and exited the throne room. Obi-Wan also bowed and turned to follow him, looking pointedly at Jar Jar. When the Gungan just stared back at him, nonplussed, the Jedi nodded his head sharply towards the door. Jar Jar caught on with a start, swept a low bow that almost overbalanced, and hurried out, leaving us four women and Panaka alone.

“Your highness,” began Panaka, “I am broadly in favour of your plan. Without the Gungans we can do nothing except harass the Trade Federation with guerrilla tactics for a time before being caught. With the Gungans, we would stand a chance - appealing to them for help is our only option. However, I am very concerned about the dangers you would face in meeting personally with the Gungans.

“Gungans and humans have co-inhabited Naboo in relative peace for some time, it is true - but it has not always been that way. You are too young to remember, but early in my career there were incidents where we had to intervene to protect smallholders whose lands bordered the Gungans’ swamps. Since then, we have maintained peace largely by keeping out of each other’s way. But if you appear before them, in their territory, with soldiers - however few - the worst foreseeable outcome is not simply that they will refuse to help us. It is that they will consider the truce broken, and kill you.”

The Queen was silent for a few heartbeats. “So what would you have me do, Captain? Send a messenger? How do you think the Gungans would respond to a Queen who hides behind her people and sends a servant to do her work for her? I _will_ appeal to the Gungans myself, Captain.” Her voice softened. “It is the only way.”

Panaka tapped his fingers against his gun compulsively as he visibly fought to maintain his composure, and seemed to come to a conclusion. He clasped his hands behind his back. “Then your highness, if you must go yourself, when you go, please - have Sabé be your decoy.” Dismay hit me hard in the stomach. _No. No, no!_ “When the time comes to bring your people into battle, I know you must fight as yourself, I know this. But now, when we have no idea how the Gungans will respond - the risks are too great. Please, your highness, I beg you. You are too precious for us to lose in this way.”

There was a long, long silence. Then:

“Sabé.”

I went and stood before my Queen.

Her voice was gentle. “Are you willing to serve me in this way, again?” I could see in her eyes that she knew what this service cost me.

“I am, your highness.”

She turned to Panaka. “Then so be it.

 


	13. The Gungans

Our journey back to Naboo was much faster than our journey to Coruscant. With our fully working hyperdrive (and no detour to Tatooine) we made the journey in a couple of days - and for me they were again lonely days. Amidala and I would not switch places until just before we landed, and until then I had to keep myself away from the rest of the group as much as possible, so that no-one saw me except when I was hooded and unidentifiable, attending on the Queen. That way, when Padmé made her reappearance on Naboo it would not be suspicious.

I was present as the Queen interrogated Jar Jar about his fellow Gungans, and the best approach to take when asking for help. I watched, silent, as Amidala developed her speech to the Gungan leader in the same way as she had developed her speech to the Senate, with a number of variations depending on the audience’s reaction. Thankfully this speech was much simpler, and I mastered it quickly under her tutelage.

As we neared Naboo, Padmé and Eirtaé changed into their combat wear and Rabé dressed me in the Mandalorian baroness’s battle dress. I was surprised I could move very freely it; indeed it was almost comfortable, and the headdress was much lighter than it looked. Padmé applied my makeup while Rabé changed.

“Are you ready?” she asked. It was a rhetorical question, as she was applying the red lip paint at that point so I couldn’t reply. “I know you can do this Sabé. I trust you.”

She stood back and surveyed my appearance, then nodded, satisfied. “Perfect. Rabé, you are a genius to have found this outfit.”

Rabé blushed. “Thank you, your highness. Though I’m afraid as you know, Naboo now owes Mandalore more than a few favours.”

“If we win this, Rabé, I will be more than happy to repay them with interest. And it we don’t - well, I’m sure we will have worse things to worry about.” She sounded so matter of fact - I supposed it was her way of coping with the situation.

My heart was racing under the layers of blast-proof fabric. Soon I would be face to face with the leader of the Gungans, a people I had been taught from birth to fear, impersonating my Queen and trying to persuade them to help us free our planet. I didn’t know how Padmé knew I could do it, since I was so far from knowing it myself.

***

We landed in a forest not far from Lake Paonga, beneath which lay the Gungan capital of Otoh Gunga. Jar Jar was sent to scout out the city, and to take word to the Gungan leader Boss Nass (if he was there), while we disembarked. Panaka, Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan stood by the lakeside, while the rest of us waited some way off.

When Jar Jar emerged from the lake, he shook himself and marched straight to Panaka and the Jedi. They held a brief conversation, and then Jar Jar gestured animatedly and hurried off. At a discreet nod from Padmé, we all fell in behind him, and Panaka updated us. Jar Jar had found Otoh Gunga empty, but was confident his people had neither been killed nor imprisoned in camps. Instead, he was sure they were hiding in a “sacred place”, their refuge in times of danger.

We followed him deeper into the forest, quickly at first, but then more and slowly as the ground became increasingly boggy. Soon we were most definitely in the swamps, and my unease swelled.  

The human population of Naboo was not large, but it had spread out to inhabit almost the whole of the planet; the plains and the woodlands, the mountains and the lakes. The one area humans had avoided were the swamplands, out of fear of the Gungans. Yet here we were, being led deeper and deeper into the swamps by a single Gungan who looked almost as scared as I felt. To try to keep my anxiety at bay, I ran through my speech in my head.

Shortly after we entered the swamps, Obi-Wan drew level with me, and he remained at my shoulder for almost the whole of the journey. He didn’t speak - none of us did unless absolutely necessary - but his silent presence gave me strength. I had not had the chance to speak with him since our encounter at the Jedi Temple, so I had no way to know what he thought of the fact that I was once again dressed as the Queen, while Padmé strode beside me through the swamps, bare-headed and bare-faced.

We had been travelling for at least an hour when the trees and grasses suddenly gave way to a clearing. The treetop canopy was thinner here and the air felt slightly lighter, but our tension only increased as we stopped behind Jar Jar. He surveyed the clearing and sniffed the air cautiously, then nodded. “Dissen it.”

I jumped - we all did - as he raised his head and gave a strange birdlike call that sounded very, very loud after our silent journey. And then the shadows between the trees became amphibious skin, and the reflections off pools of water became shining weapons, and we were surrounded by Gungans, mounted on creatures I recognised from my school lessons as kaadu.

Jar Jar waved a little too jovially at the one who appeared to be their leader. “Heydey ho, Cap’n Tarpals!”

The larger Gungan started. “Binks! Notta gain!”

Jar Jar gestured round at all of us. “We come to see da Boss.”

The Captain inspected us. His features were not too different from Jar Jar’s, but there was nothing comical about him. “Ouch time, Binks,” he said. “Ouch time for alla yous, mebbe. Whoosa deese?”

Jar Jar introduced us, and explained that we sought an audience with Boss Nass. Tarpals narrowed his eyes, then turned his kaadu and rode out of the clearing. From the closing in of the other Gungans, electropoles raised, it was very clear that we were to follow.

I led the way, with Jar Jar at my side. He was clearly nervous - more than that, he was afraid. I realised I knew very little of how he came to meet the Jedi, or his life before then, and I wondered if we had made the right decision after all in asking for his help.

Soon we entered the Gungans’ camp. The ruins of a temple - broken pillars, chunks of walls, heads and limbs of statues - were half-covered by earth and foliage, but seemed somehow to be emerging out of the swamp rather than sinking back into it. Gungans clustered amongst the ruins, watching us in silence, many armed and all suspicious, hostile.

Walking between them in my royal garments, I had never felt more exposed and more vulnerable. I kept my eyes straight ahead to where a small group of Gungans waited on top of a huge stone head that was now mostly hidden in tree roots. One of the group was enormous, and as we drew nearer it became clear that he must be Boss Nass.

Captain Tarpals stopped us a short way from the stone head. “Your honour: Queen Amidala of the Naboo.”

Jar Jar gave a tentative half wave. “Err . . . hello dere Big Boss Nassen, your honour…” It did not sound like the greeting of someone confident of their warm reception.

“Jar Jar Binks.” Boss Nass’s voice was so deep I felt it in my chest, and it echoed strangely through the clearing. “Who’s da oosen oothers?”

It took me a moment to understand what he had said, but when I did I recognised it as my cue. “I am Queen Amidala of the Naboo. I come before you in peace.” By some miracle, my voice was clear and level.

“Ah, Naboo biggen. Yousa bringen da maccaneks. Yousa all bombad.”

It was an ominous start, but Jar Jar and Padmé had made it clear that Boss Nass’s initial reaction was likely to be hostile. I was to begin by presenting our request clearly and simply, and then continue with our reasons why he should help us. “We have searched you out, because we wish to form an alliance -”

“Your honour.” Padmé stepped out from behind me and stood before the Gungan leader, tiny and unafraid. I knew instantly what she was doing, and that this had been her plan all along.

“Whoosa dis?”

“I am Queen Amidala. This is my decoy.” She turned to me. “My protection.” _Forgive me_ , her eyes said, and she turned back to Boss Nass. “My loyal bodyguard. I’m sorry for my deception, but it was necessary for me to protect myself.”

I didn’t hear her words that followed. I felt deeply, utterly betrayed, and it took everything I had simply to stand still and keep my expression neutral.

I suddenly realised Padmé was kneeling, and I knelt too, more from reflex than any conscious decision. Around me, the rest of our party knelt too.

“Our fate is in your hands,” concluded Padmé. And then we waited, longer than I’d ever waited in my life.

Boss Nass surveyed us, his fleshy face unreadable. “Mmmmmm.” He exhaled harshly, then more sharply, almost with a bark. And then - wonderfully, or terribly? - he was laughing. “Yousa no tinken yousa greater dan da Gungans? Meesa like dis. Maybe wesa . . .  being friends.”

Padmé’s plan had worked. 

 


	14. Threshold, part I

That night we camped with the Gungans in their sacred place. We were all sensible of the honour we had been granted, and Padmé thanked them with a sincerity and humility which charmed Boss Nass even further.

The Gungans welcomed us to their campfires, and we dispersed to join them. Boss Nass invited Padmé, Panaka and the Jedi to join his generals, while Rabé, Eirtaé, Anakin, a couple of guards and I were urged by a small and clearly elderly Gungan to join his family at their fire. The guards introduced themselves to their hosts as Baras and Danzal, and I felt ashamed that I hadn’t known their names before. I knew the names of very few of the guards, isolated as I had been over recent days.

One of the younger Gungans dipped a spoon into a pot, and shyly held out to me. The greyish stew with its glistening strands of green leaves and lumps of some kind of pale meat did not look particularly appetising to me, but I steeled myself and took a mouthful. It tasted earthy and faintly fishy, and the leaves were so slimy and strongly flavoured that I almost gagged as I swallowed. I forced my face into what I hoped was a sincere-looking smile. “Delicious, thank you!”

The Gungans surveyed me for a moment, and then in unison burst into laughter - huge gasping laughs that shook their whole bodies. Then our elderly host regained his composure just enough to speak. “Good!” he said between guffaws, “Very good! Gungan food not like human food! Wesa eat ussen food, yousa eat youssen food! Then all happy!”

Despite his words, we continued to offer each other tastes of our food as we ate. The Gungans laughed every time we tried one of their dishes and tried to hide our disgust, while they made no attempt to conceal their bafflement at our ration bars.

It was indescribably strange to be sitting round a fire sharing a meal with the creatures that had been the villains of many of my bedtime stories. Following Boss Nass’s lead, the Gungans’ hostile demeanour had utterly changed, and they could not have been more welcoming. They encouraged us to tell our stories of our escape from Naboo, and then stories of our lives before the invasion, and in return they told us of their lives in the swamps and the lakes.

Despite our differing dialects, we found communication easy, and Eirtaé and Rabé were more relaxed than I’d seen them since the blockade began. Anakin was his usual self, charming our hosts with his enthusiastic recountings of podraces.

The guards however, although they seemed comfortable enough in their interactions with the Gungans, were not entirely at their ease. Several times I caught them snatching sideways glances at me, and they barely spoke to me except to ask me to pass them things.

They seemed not to know how to act around me. I looked like their Queen but was not their Queen. The woman they and their brothers in arms had risked - and in some cases sacrificed - their lives for had not always been the Queen. Sometimes it had been a handmaiden, a mere servant, and they had no way to tell when. I did not blame them for feeling uncomfortable around me, but the exclusion still hurt.

A nudge at my leg startled me from my musings, and I looked down to see an infant Gungan staring up at me. A female Gungan caught my eye and smiled encouragingly - she must be the child’s mother. The infant put a tentative webbed hand on my leg, and at a nod from its mother I scooped it up into my lap. It snuggled into my embrace and I cautiously started stroking it. Its skin was rougher than I expected, and it was strangely cool to the touch - I supposed the Gungans must be cold-blooded. After a while it started to make a gentle spluttering noise I took to be snoring, and its mother and I exchanged smiles.

Later in the evening we were joined by another group of Gungans and their hosts, and the gathering grew even more merry. Humans and Gungans started teaching each other songs - some of them rather rude - and it was hard to believe that in only a day or two we would all be facing the Trade Federation in battle. I tried my best to join in, but it was not easy. The more guards that joined us, the more of an outsider I felt.

Eventually, the infant Gungan’s mother retrieved her child to put it to bed, and I took advantage of this to excuse myself, pleading tiredness. I retreated to a smaller campfire a short way away where we had stored our packs, and as I unrolled my bedroll, I was joined by Rabé.

“It’s not easy, is it?” she said. I shook my head. “It will get better. They just need to get used to you. Once they understand you were doing all you could to protect the Queen, just like they are, they will soon accept you again. Here.”

From her pack she withdrew an odd-looking item that she unfolded into some kind of frame. “It’s a headrest,” she explained. “Look, it’s padded here for your neck. Its no pillow, but it’s as comfortable as I could make it, and it will stop your hair from getting disarranged in the night. I’ve got ones for Padmé, Eirtaé and me too.” She had thought of everything. “You don’t mind if I go back join the others, do you?”

“Of course not.” And, truly, I didn’t. It might be hard to watch my sisters interacting so comfortably with the same guards who shunned me, but I did not begrudge them it, and all I wanted at that moment was some solitude to sleep.

***

I slept very badly that night. The padded but still uncomfortable headrest, the strange swampland noises that surrounded us, and the knowledge that we would very soon be going in to battle, all conspired to mean I slept in fits and starts, and it felt like I spent more of that night awake than asleep.

At some point in the evening Rabé returned with Eirtaé, and then Padmé shortly after them. I knew  I should get up and speak to my Queen, hear her update on how things stood with the Gungans, receive further instructions - but I just couldn’t do it. She had told me she trusted me to appeal to the Gungans, that she knew I could do it - and all along she had planned to interrupt and expose me, and make the appeal herself.

Just before dawn I awoke again, completely this time, knowing that I would not get back to sleep. I lay still for a while, then slowly, carefully, got up as quietly as I could and made my way past my sleeping sisters, past the guards and Gungans around us, out of the clearing and into the woods.

I’d only travelled a short distance through the woods when the trees thinned, and I found myself on the shores of a lake, pearly grey and mist-shrouded in the pre-dawn light. The far shore was hidden in the mist, but from the way the banks tapered into the mist, I guessed it was considerably smaller than Lake Paonga.

I made my way towards the water’s edge, then stopped suddenly when I realised a shape I’d thought was a rock or a bush was actually Qui-Gon Jinn, sitting in silent meditation. It was the second time I’d come across a Jedi while he was meditating, and just like when I’d encountered Obi-Wan in the solar, my first thought was that I should respect his privacy and leave him. But, just like in the solar, I stayed.

But this time, I didn’t stay because I was impersonating the Queen and had to make the decision she would have made. This time, I stayed because I wanted to stay. I could feel the peace emanating from Qui-Gon, stronger and and deeper than what I had felt from Obi-Wan, and I desperately wanted some of it. As quietly as I could, I settled myself down on the grass a short way from him.

I think even without the Jedi’s presence I would have found some rest by the lake in the pre-dawn. The air was cool and fresh before the mugginess of the daytime took hold, and there was something comforting in the way the mist muffled the sounds of the swamps and hid much of the surroundings from view, as if all that existed at that moment was this little pocket of stillness. But in Qui-Gon’s presence I felt calmer and more at ease than I had for a long time.

After a while, just as had happened with Obi-Wan in the solar, there was a subtle change in the atmosphere, and I knew Qui-Gon must have finished meditating. I looked down at my hands and rubbed a white-painted thumbnail, feeling somewhat self-conscious about having knowingly taken advantage of his meditation in this way. But Qui-Gon’s relaxed smile as he made his way over to me put me at my ease.

“Good morning, handmaiden . . . Sabé, is it not?” I nodded. He settled himself down beside me, his long legs stretched out in front of him and his boots almost in the water. “I see you too are an early riser.”

“Not by choice,” I replied, “Not this morning at least. I couldn’t sleep.” I felt embarrassed as soon as I had said it. Was I a child to complain about not sleeping? None of us could have slept well that night.

But Qui-Gon just nodded. “That’s to be expected. This must be very strange for you.”

Somehow I knew exactly what he meant. “It must be much stranger for the others - the guards and pilots. I can see them watching me when they think I’m not looking, trying to work out when the woman they thought was the Queen was in fact the Queen, and when it was me.”

“It is an extremely effective disguise.”

“Did you know? Or suspect?”

“Not at all. If I had, I would have behaved differently on Tatooine. Or in truth -“ he had the good grace to look slightly sheepish - “My actions would probably have been the same, but I would have minded my words more. No, when we left Coruscant I sensed Obi-Wan was keeping something from me, but I had no idea it was anything like this.”

I fidgeted with the top of my boot. “Master Jinn, I’m not sure what Obi-Wan has told you, but I made him promise not to tell you of our disguise. He was very unhappy about it - he wanted to tell you everything. But I thought it was safest for as few people to know as possible. So I made him promise.”

He laughed. “Lady Sabé, my apprentice acted entirely of his own free will, as he always does. You made him do nothing. He kept your secret because you convinced him of the necessity of doing so. And with hindsight I can agree it was the right thing to do, although I would not have counselled it at the time, of course. But had I known of the disguise, I could not have approved of its use yesterday to deceive the Gungans. So it has all worked out for the best.” There was a touch of sadness in his smile. “It is a difficult thing for me, to learn that my Padawan and I can disagree, and he can be right.”

“It’s what she planned all along.” My voice sounded very small. “It’s the only reason she agreed to have me as her decoy when we went to the Gungans - so she could reveal herself and win their trust. And she didn’t tell me.”

“And can you understand why not?” he asked, gently.

I had thought about it a lot during the night. “Because she wanted the revelation to be a genuine surprise. And she didn’t want anyone else complicit in the, the double deception. I understand why she didn’t tell me, and I agree it was the right decision.” I looked down at my hands. “But it still hurts.”

“Why don’t you talk to her about it?”

“Talk to her? I can’t do that. On the eve of battle, go complaining to my Queen that she’s hurt my feelings?” 

“But you are friends, aren’t you?”

“Friends?” I hadn’t thought about it like that. Padmé encouraged informality amongst her and her handmaidens when in private, and we had come to know each other well over the six months we had spent together. But friends? The idea had never occurred to me. She was always our Queen, and we were always her handmaidens. “No,” I said eventually. “We’re not friends.”

Qui-Gon looked out over the lake. The mist was beginning to clear now, and somewhere behind the trees the sun was rising.  “Sabé, would you permit an old man to give you some advice?” I nodded, unsure of what was coming.

“Everyone needs friends, Sabé. Everyone. And the people with whom Padmé can truly be friends are very limited indeed. Her family, maybe a small number of people she grew up with or went to school with. Other than that? There are very few people who can truly appreciate what it means to be in her position, and who would be willing to support her without seeking personal gain. But you, her handmaidens . . . You are with her all the time, you know exactly what challenges she faces, you understand what it is like for her - and you most of all, Sabé.”

I felt ashamed. It was true that being a decoy did not have all the implications of being Queen, but even so I had had a taste of what a lonely position it was, how desperate the need for friendship could be, and how difficult it could be to find it.

“The greatest gift you and your sisters can give Padmé is not your service. It is your friendship. She needs people who will support her, listen to her hopes and dreams, stand by her when times are hard. But more than that, she needs people who are prepared to challenge her when necessary - it’s not easy, but it’s what friends do, for each other’s best interests. And if you are going to be her friend - if _she_ is going to be _your_ friend - you can’t try to hide or ignore it when she has hurt you so deeply, even when it was unintentional. Perhaps especially when it is unintentional. It may be uncomfortable, but if it’s not something you can move past on your own, then you will need to talk to her.” He paused. “Will you promise me that you’ll think about it?”

I nodded. I don’t think I could have spoken just then. 

The mists had almost completely cleared now, and a puff of wind brought morning sounds from the camp nearby.

“Master?” We turned. Obi-Wan stood by the edge of the trees. “The Queen is asking for you. She is expecting Captain Panaka to return soon with the leaders of the resistance.

“Thank you, Obi-Wan,” Qui-Gon called back. “Please tell her highness I will be with her shortly.”

Obi-Wan bowed to his master, then turned to me. “Good morning, Sabé.”

Startled, I responded a couple of heartbeats too slow, or so it felt to me. “Good morning, Obi-Wan.” Then he bowed to me, and was gone before I could think of anything else to say.

When I turned back to Qui-Gon I had a horrible feeling I was blushing, but if he had noticed anything he was kind enough not to show it. “We should return to our posts,” he said, standing and offering me his hand to help me up. But he made no immediate move to return to the camp. Instead, he held my gaze long enough to make me feel somewhat unnerved, looking graver than he had done throughout our conversation. “Master Jinn?”

He smiled, releasing me from his gaze, and letting go of my hand. “My apologies. Sabé, you may be aware of this already, but in the future, when people come to tell of these events, they will tell the story of the daring Queen who escaped from under the noses of the Trade Federation to intercede for her people before the Senate. They will tell the story of the warrior Queen who led her people into battle. And so they should - it is a good story. But, if my experience is anything to go by, it is unlikely they will tell the story of the handmaiden whose service made it all possible.”

“That’s how I want it,” I said, uncomfortable again. “We handmaidens don’t serve the Queen for glory or reward.”

“I know that, and I am glad of it. But Sabé, I want you to know, I will not forget your courage, and your loyalty, and your humility. And nor I think will Obi-Wan. And on behalf of all those who _will_ forget, or who will not know in the first place -“ He took my hand again, in both of his. “I want to thank you, Sabé, for everything you have done, and everything you continue to do.”

Now I knew for sure I was blushing. “Master Jinn - “

“I mean it, Sabé. Without you, I do not know if we would all be here today. And while your service may not be remembered in the way it should be, you need to know that it will not be forgotten.”

I found I could no longer meet his eyes. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Then say thank you, handmaiden, and let us return to your Queen.”

I nodded, and bowed deeply, the motion feeling strange in the Queen’s outfit. “Thank you, Qui-Gon Jinn.”

I followed him back to the camp, my mind and my heart very full indeed.

 


	15. Threshold, part II

It wasn’t long before Panaka returned with the leaders of the resistance. While Panaka went straight to Padmé and the Jedi to report, the resistance leaders came to the main camp for some much-needed food and rest. To my delight, the group included Saché, a little thinner than we had left her, but otherwise apparently well.

She hurried up to us, smiling, then stopped and knelt before me. “Your highness. We always knew you would come back to us.” 

“Saché,” I interrupted her. “It’s me. Sabé.” She stared up at me, then grinned. “Stars and skies, Sabé. That’s astounding.” She got to her feet. “Where is she? Is she alright?”

“She’s with Panaka and the Jedi. And she’s - flourishing, actually. I think this whole situation agrees with her.”

“Well, who’d have thought it. Our pacifist Queen. Am I allowed to hug you when you’re dressed like that?” She didn’t wait for an answer. “I can’t tell you what a relief it is to see you all alive,” she whispered into my shoulder, then pulled back, and beckoned to Eirtaé and Rabé.

For a while we just stood there, our arms around each others shoulders and waists, simply glad to be together again. Then Eirtaé broke our embrace. “Where’s Yané? And Governor Bibble? Is he -”

“They’re still in Theed, and well, as far as we know. The Federation recaptured us just after you left, but I managed to escape as we were being transferred to the camp. We agreed one of us should stay with Sio, and Yané thought my contacts might be useful, so I left and she stayed. I found some others who’d managed to avoid the camps, and since you left we’ve been making life difficult for the Federation, and waiting for the Senate to send help - or for you to come back.”

“Sio’s message,” said Rabé. “He sent a transmission while we were on Tatooine, saying the Federation had killed people - lots of people.”

“That’s not the case, not as far as we can tell. A few people died resisting the initial takeover, and since then one or two have been executed as examples to keep the rest of the people in order. At first we did think there had been mass executions - that must have been when Sio made the transmission.” Her face darkened. “It was terrible. We thought - well, never mind what we thought. Later we realised the Federation had been feeding us false reports, to intimidate us. It hadn’t been nearly as bad as we’d feared. And now - now it’s nearly over.”

Saché had such faith in us. And for a moment at least, I could share that faith.

***

Soon after the resistance leaders arrived, all of us - humans and Gungans alike - gathered in the largest clearing, for a briefing given by Padmé and Boss Nass, with occasional interjections from Panaka and the Jedi.

The entire Gungan force was to engage the Trade Federation’s droid army in battle, on the large plains beyond the edge of the swamps. But this was just to be a diversion, drawing the Federation troops away from Theed.

While they were occupied, our small human force would use the network of caves and passages under Theed to enter the city close to the palace, and then gain access to the palace with the aid of another, smaller diversion. Once inside, the pilots would recover their ships and go to knock out the droid army’s control ship, while the rest of us would capture the Viceroy.

We humans tried to keep out the Gungans' way as they prepared to leave. Some of them had already gone ahead to recover weapons and equipment from Otoh Gunga, and they would all assemble on the edge of the swamps, ready to attack at dawn. Three Gungans were staying behind, to lead us through the sometimes treacherous swamplands, and would rejoin the rest of their people as soon as they could.

Although our party felt pitifully small to be preparing to seize Theed from the occupying force, it was too large to make it all the way to the capital without a significant risk of being detected. To counter this, we were split into three groups, who would travel to Theed separately, with a significant interval between our departures. We women, along with Panaka, the Jedi and Anakin, were to form the middle group, with the guards and pilots divided into two groups, which would precede and follow us.

After the first group had left, Padmé explained the role she had in mind for Saché and me. As soon as we were all inside the palace, Saché and I were to use the service passages to go straight to near the throne room, and wait for Padmé and Panaka’s force to arrive by a more circuitous route. While these passages provided the most direct route to the throne room, the ones Padmé had in mind were too narrow and thinly-walled to allow more than one or two very quiet people to pass through unnoticed. Padmé wanted me in position by the throne room as soon as possible in case I was needed as a decoy, and Saché’s recent knowledge of the occupation might be needed to enable us to get there.

“If all goes according to plan, you won’t be needed,” explained Padmé. “But if something goes wrong, you could provide the distraction we need to take Theed.”

“Biggen Naboo?” Our Gungan guide gestured to us over to the edge of the clearing. “It is time.” 

***

We followed our guide through the swamplands in single file, as quietly as we could, and speaking only when absolutely necessary. I was at the centre of the group with Padmé and Anakin. I noticed that our guide set a pace that the boy could manage, and that whenever we paused she took particular care to make sure he sat down, and ate and drank when he needed to.

From time to time, where the terrain was particularly treacherous, our guide led us across stretches us in twos and threes, making sure we knew to follow exactly in her footsteps. There were a couple of anxious moments when one of us took a misstep and nearly lost a shoe in the boggy ground, but we passed through the worst terrain without major mishap.

After a while I realised we were walking on firm ground, and that we had passed into the woodlands close to Theed. Here our guide took her leave of us and left to rejoin her people, moving swiftly and almost soundlessly back the way we had come.

Padmé nodded to Panaka, and he led us through the final stretch of woodland, to where the trees gave way to meadows. On the far side of the meadows rose the cliffs on which Theed was built. Here we joined with the advance group, and awaited the final group, which arrived at dusk. We would wait until night had fallen, then cross the meadows under cover of darkness. We would spend the rest of the night in the caves, and enter the city just before dawn.

We sat mainly in silence, watching as the light faded. It was a cloudy night, and only the faintest light from Naboo’s two moons filtered through to illuminate the plains. The lights of Theed glowed gently peach and gold high above, in a surreal contrast to the tension of our situation.

“A perfect night for our purposes,” said Obi-Wan quietly. I jumped - I hadn’t heard him approach. “May I?” He gestured to the ground next to me.

I nodded. “Please.”

He settled himself down beside me. It was almost completely dark now, and as silent as woodlands ever are. Obi-Wan kept his voice low as he asked, “How are you?” I could tell he genuinely wanted to know, and he wasn’t just making polite small talk.

I looked away. How could I answer that question? In the end, I answered with what was uppermost in my mind. “Afraid.”

He nodded. “Sensible woman.”

“What?” Of all his possible responses, I hadn’t expected that.

“That’s very sensible.”

I stared at him. “I thought Jedi were against fear.”

“Well, Jedi orthodoxy does hold that fear is the path to the dark side. The teaching is that it unlocks harmful patterns of thought and behaviour that, if unchecked, can have grave consequences. Conventional Jedi teaching therefore is that fear should be contained, subdued. My master however disagrees, as he often does.” He grinned - I hadn’t seen him grin before. “And in this I am a good apprentice and follow him.

He shifted from his cross-legged position, stretching one leg out in front of him. “In its proper place, and in its proper proportion, fear is an appropriate and helpful response to danger. A person truly without fear would be prone to recklessness, and would expose himself - or herself - and others to unnecessary dangers, simply through not appreciating their importance. Fear enables us to accurately asses risks, and to decide whether they are worth facing to achieve what we want to. It’s only when fear is misplaced or excessive, or when it rules our actions rather than informing them, that it truly becomes a problem.”

He ran a hand through his hair, looking suddenly self-conscious. “Forgive me, I’m lecturing. It’s a habit of the Jedi, I’m afraid. We spend so much time learning, and teaching, that we sometimes forget we’re in a conversation, not a symposium.”

I smiled. “Not at all. It’s interesting to think about it - I’ve never really considered it that way. I’ve always thought of fear as an enemy.

“It can be, certainly. But, managed well, it can also be an ally.”

I breathed in the night air, which was sweet with the scents of summer. It was strange to be in such a beautiful place, and so close to home, and yet in just a few hours we would be launching our attack. “I never realised battle involved so much waiting. Is this normal?”

He chuckled. “Very normal. You spend much more time waiting for things to happen, than actually taking action.”

“How do you stand it? Sometimes I just want this all to be over, and sometimes I want to just keep waiting, so we don’t have to -” I looked down, ashamed.

“You get used to it.” His voice was kind. “There’s no other alternative, really. Sometimes our courage is tested as much in the waiting as it is in the battle itself. We just have to hold our nerve, and prepare ourselves as far as we can. It’s never easy.”

“I just wish I could be brave, like Padmé, or like you and Master Qui-Gon.” My eyes were stinging with the start of tears.

“But you are brave.” I shook my head. “You are,” he insisted.

“I don’t feel brave. I feel like ever since the blockade started, I haven’t stopped being afraid.”

“Bravery isn’t about feelings, it’s about actions. When you do what needs to be done, despite your fear, that’s true bravery.” He took my hand. “Whatever you’ve been feeling, your actions over the past weeks prove that you are a brave woman, Sabé. Besides, can you honestly tell me that you’ve been afraid all this time?”

He rubbed a thumb over my palm, his hand as calloused as a solider’s and as gentle as a healer’s. I thought back to the night I had sat with him in the solar on board the Queen’s starship, and met his eyes. “No,” I replied. “Not all the time.”

“Maybe later, when this is all over, you can tell me your side of this story?”

I smiled up at him. “I’d like that.”

Something rustled behind me; Obi-Wan looked over my shoulder and let go of my hand.

I turned - Saché was approaching. She looked between Obi-Wan and me and raised her eyebrows, but didn’t comment. “Time to go.”

As I passed her, she smirked a little, but I ignored her. She could smirk all she wanted - we had a job to do.

***

Now darkness had fully fallen, we crossed the meadows in silence. As we approached the cliffs, the sound of the waterfalls gradually emerged from the still air, and covered the sound of Padmé, Panaka and Qui-Gon discussing which route to take. They consulted with one of the scouts, who led us a little way past one of the waterfalls to a barely visible gap between two rocks, which turned out to be the start of a tunnel.

We made our way very slowly and carefully through the tunnel, well spaced out so we could take our time navigating the often slippery ground. Our torches illuminated only a short distance ahead of us, and all the twists and turns of the passage meant we could only see two or three others at any one time.

Soon however the tunnel opened out into a cave, which was linked to a bigger cave, which in turn gave out onto a huge cavern. The path zig-zagged its way up the side, and although I still couldn’t see most of my companions, there was something comforting in the way their torchlight reflected off the walls, and occasionally winked out into the centre of the cavern.

When the path had climbed almost to the roof, it took a final twist and gave out onto a large ledge, big enough for us all to fit comfortably. Panaka greeted us each silently as we emerged onto the ledge, and gestured towards the centre, where we all assembled and received our final briefing from Padmé.

It turned out we were directly below Palace Plaza in the centre of Theed, and that a narrow passage from the ledge led to a concealed entrance into the city. We would enter Theed at dawn, then split into two groups to gain access to the main hangar.

“Any questions?” said Padmé. “All right. We’ve still got most of the night left, so let’s all get some rest.”

Eirtaé, Rabé, Saché and I set out our and Padmé’s bedrolls in a corner, while Padmé circulated among the rest of the group. I watched as she spoke with each one in turn, and saw how with just a few words from her the tension in their faces eased. Many smiled, and a few even laughed.

I busied myself with setting up the headrest-pillow Rabé had brought me, blinking back tears. Speaking with Padmé was enough to bring these soldiers comfort and courage on the eve of battle, and yet it was what I’d been avoiding since she had revealed herself to Boss Nass in the clearing. And I suddenly knew that Qui-Gon was right - I needed to speak with her about how I felt. In that moment I made up my mind that I would do so as soon as I could.

Eirtaé, Rabé, Saché and I retired to our bedrolls in silence. At this point, we needed sleep more than we needed to talk, and from their breathing I could tell it was not long before they fell asleep. My whole body was aching with tiredness, but I forced myself to stay awake until Padmé’s return.

She came back only after she had exchanged a few words with every single member of the group. She didn’t seem to notice I was still awake, but climbed into her ready-prepared bedroll next to me.

I didn’t know what to do. I had no idea what I wanted to say, but I knew that I didn’t say something now, before she went to sleep and the events of tomorrow took over, I might never say it.

“Padmé?”

She started, and turned over to look at me. “I thought you were asleep,” she whispered.

I shook my head. Still the words wouldn’t come.

“What is it? Sabé.”

“You didn’t tell me. You knew all along you were going to reveal yourself to Boss Nass, and you didn’t tell me.”

She nodded, sadness in her eyes. “Oh, Sabé. I’m so sorry.”

“It hurt so much. All this time I’ve been your decoy. I’ve served you with everything I had, and I thought you trusted me. You _said_ you trusted me. But you didn’t tell me.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, and I could see the effort it took to open them again. She was surely even more exhausted than I was.

“I couldn’t tell you. I was already tricking Boss Nass and the Gungans, by pretending to be a handmaiden only so I could make a show of revealing who I was. It was a deception already, but one that was necessary. I couldn’t add to it by letting anyone else know my plan; it wouldn’t have been right. And your reaction when I exposed you had to be genuine - they had to all see it. I knew it would be difficult for you, and I never wanted to hurt you - but I had to do it that way. Can you see it?”

I nodded. “I understand why you did it. But it still hurt. I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to complain, or to argue - you did what you had to do. I know that. It’s just -” My words failed me again.

“Sabé.” She reached a hand out between us. I hesitated, then took it. “I trust you completely. You have played the role of decoy to perfection, and I know it has been extremely difficult for you. I’m sorry I haven’t taken more time to thank you, and to tell you how much I appreciate what you have been doing. And I’m sorry I didn’t seek you out after the audience with Boss Nass, to explain myself. You deserved that, and I should have made it a priority.”

I shook my head. “No, you shouldn’t, you had more important things to do. I’m just - tired. I’ve blown this out of proportion, I shouldn’t have said anything.” I made to draw my hand back, but she held it tighter.

“No, you should. You were absolutely right to talk to me. How can we be be friends if we don’t talk about things like this?”

“Friends?” It was uncanny that she should talk like this. Had Qui-Gon been talking to her too? Or was it simply that he had a Jedi’s insight into her situation?

“Friends. If you like.” She smiled.

I smiled back at her, and squeezed her hand. “Friends.”

 


	16. Battle

I woke the next morning tired and groggy, but more at peace than I had been since the audience with Boss Nass. Padmé smiled at me as we all made our morning preparations, and I returned her smile with a lighter heart than I would have expected, given that we were about to go into battle.

As we assembled to enter the tunnel into Theed, I passed Qui-Gon. “Thank you,” I said quietly, and he nodded in return, kindness and - I was surprised to see it - pride in his eyes.

We made our way through the tunnel carefully and in silence. Panaka led the way, and checked to ensure the coast was clear before we emerged into the city, where we found ourselves in a side street I didn’t recognise.

Step by step, Padmé and Panaka led us through backstreets to the edge of Palace Plaza. Insofar as we could tell, the city was eerily empty of humans. We caught glimpses of battle droids patrolling the main streets, and several ships and droid squads were stationed on the plaza. But all in all, there was far less of a military presence than we might have expected - it seemed the Gungan army had succeeded in drawing the bulk of the Trade Federation’s troops out to the plains.

Most of us took shelter by the large and imposing Tailors’ Guildhall, directly across from the palace’s main hangar, which - miracle of miracles - was open. Panaka took a squad, and with painstaking care skirted the edge of the plaza to where they would have a clear shot at the droids.

In my position beside Saché, I could hear my heart hammering in my ears, and I had to remind myself to breathe. I realised my hand was clenched tight round my blaster, and I gently flexed out my fingers before readjusting my grip more lightly. Obi-Wan looked over at me, and caught my eye. His solemn expression didn’t change, but as he held my gaze I felt my heart rate slow and my breathing ease. I nodded slightly, he responded in kind, and we both returned our attention to the the plaza

Now in position, Panaka flashed a signal, and Padmé responded to indicate we were ready. There were a few more heartbeats of stomach-clenching silence, then Panaka’s squad opened fire and battle droids exploded all over the plaza.

The Federation troops responded immediately and in unison, returning fire and moving towards Panaka and his group. A hand signal from Padmé, and we abandoned our hiding place and ran full pelt towards the hangar.

We took the battle droids there by surprise, wiping out a third of them before they’d realised what was happening. “Get to your ships!” cried Padmé, and the pilots in our group split off.

The Jedi’s lightsabers were green and blue blurs as they deflected blaster bolts back towards the battle droids. I took out a couple of my own, and was advancing forward when Padmé yelled across the hangar, “Sabé, Saché! Go! We’ll cover you!”

We turned our backs on the fighting and ran to edge of the hangar, as bolts fired around us and the roar of starfighters taking off filled the air. We reached the door to the service passage, Saché keyed in the code, and the door opened. A sudden lull in the battle’s clamour made me look back, and what I saw rooted me to the ground in terror.

A black-garbed figure with a red and black marked face stood facing Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. He held out before him a lightsaber, but one with twin red blades. Both Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon had their lightsabers ignited, in guard position.

As I watched, Obi-Wan launched himself at the figure, somersaulting over him to to attack from behind, while Qui-Gon engaged him from the front. They moved so fast I could hardly follow what was happening, a blur of brown and black with flashes of blue, green and red. Suddenly Qui-Gon was down, and as he climbed swiftly to his feet the hangar door opened, and first Obi-Wan then Qui-Gon pursued the dark figure into the next room, and out of my sight.

All this had taken only a few seconds, but in that time I knew with absolute certainty the nature of my feelings for Obi-Wan. I had spent most of the past few weeks feeling powerless, but I had never in my life felt more helpless than I did in that moment.

“Sabé!” urged Saché. The sympathy in her eyes showed me she knew something of what I was feeling. “We have to go.”

I looked back to where Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon and their opponent had disappeared from view. Even though there was nothing I could possibly have done to help, the hardest thing I’d ever had to do was to turn away and follow Saché into that service passage.

We hurried along, as quickly and as quietly as we could. I tried to focus on making as little noise as possible, on the battle we would shortly be engaged in, on the brown leather of Sabé’s shoes ahead of me - anything other than on what I had seen, and what might be happening to Obi-Wan right now. 

From the other side of the passage wall we heard occasional sounds of skirmishes some way off - blaster fire, shouts, the noise of running feet - but mostly the palace was quiet, eerily so. As we reached the foot of a narrow stair, Saché gestured to me to stop. “This leads up to near the throne room,” she whispered. “There’s a small landing at the top. We’ll wait there until Padmé gives us more orders.”

I’d spent so much of the past weeks waiting for one thing or another, but that time with Saché, waiting in silence at the heart of the palace for what must surely be the final act in this drama - I think that was the most difficult waiting of all.

It ended with a beep of my commlink. “My squad and I will be at the Throne Room very soon,” said Padmé’s voice. “Meet Eirtaé and Rabé’s squad in the Jafan Hall now, and they’ll update you.”

Saché and I looked at each other. “May the Force be with you,” I whispered.

Saché opened the door a crack and peeked out, then signalled that the coast was clear. We emerged into the corridor outside the throne room to find it completely deserted, then headed away from the great doors to the Jafan Hall.

Eirtaé, Rabé and their squad arrive shortly after we did, and Rabé explained quickly. “She’s going to let them capture her - quickest way to get to the throne room. We’re to wait until they’re inside, then draw off the battle droids - they’ll think you’re the Queen.”I nodded, my heart in my mouth. This was it.

We positioned ourself inside the Jafan Hall, on either side of the door. Before long, we heard the sound of footsteps, and then Padmé, Panaka and several guards passed by the door, surrounded by battle droids. Then the noise died away - they must have reached the throne room.

I suddenly realised the others were all looking at me. I swallowed. “We’ll lead them to the east stair. There’s cover for us to fire on them; we should be able to hold them for a while.” I raised my blaster. “Let’s do this.”

We crept back towards the throne room, edging cautiously from pillar to pillar. As we reached the door, I saw Padmé’s group standing before two Neimoidians, flanked by battle droids. I took a deep breath, and stepped out. “Viceroy! Your occupation here has ended!” I took two shots, as I turned I saw the droids fall, and I ran back the way we had come, followed by the rest of my group.

Heart in my mouth, I ran as fast as I could towards the east stair, zigzagging in attempt to avoid the blaster fire of the pursuing droids. I could only hope that all or most of the droids had followed us, enabling Padmé to carry out whatever her plan was.

We ran up the stairs, pausing behind pillars to fire at the droids. A few of them fell, but more followed us. I heard Eirtaé cry out in pain, and saw her clutch at her shoulder, her blaster falling to the floor.

We reached the landing and fired down at our pursuers, trying to pick off as many as we could as they advanced up the stairs. There were too many - we couldn't disable them fast enough. They were nearly at the top of the stairs, where they would have pretty much a clean shot at us.

And then, suddenly, they stopped. And one by one toppled backwards, and collapsed down the stairs. The droids still on the floor below simply stood frozen where they were. The echoes from the falling droids faded away to leave an unearthly silence.

“They did it!” cried one of the guards. “They disabled the control ship!” He started forward.

“Wait!” I held up a hand. “This could be a trick.” I nodded to Rabé, and she moved cautiously to a droid that had collapsed at the top of the stairs. She prodded it with her blaster, and when it didn’t respond, she nudged it more firmly and it toppled down the stairs, bringing a couple more droids clattering with it as it went.

“Alright,” I said. “Let’s take their weapons, and get back to the throne room. Careful now, it could still be a trick.”

Very, very carefully, we headed back towards the throne room. We encountered no further opposition, only a few more fallen droids, and arrived back at the throne room to find Nute Gunray and Rune Haako being escorted away.

Padmé turned from her conference with Panaka and beckoned to us, radiant with triumph, looking every inch the victorious warrior Queen. “It’s over! The pilots have destroyed the Federation command ship. The rest of our troops are securing the building, checking there are no stragglers or traps left behind, but we’ve won. We’ve won! Naboo is ours.”

***

While we waited for the palace to be declared safe, the throne room became our headquarters. Padmé and Panaka received transmissions from the pilots, the Gungans, and our scouts in the city and elsewhere on Naboo, who all confirmed what we had thought and hoped - the Trade Federation’s command ship, which also functioned as their droid army’s control ship, had been destroyed, and they were no further military threat. Padmé sent a brief report to Palpatine to convey the good news.

A makeshift medical bay had been set up in a corner of the throne room, and I sat with Eirtaé as she got her shoulder seen too. It turned out to be just a flesh wound - fairly deep, but with no major damage. A military medic applied a bacta dressing that would start the healing process, and protect the wound until it could be treated properly.

Saché watched with interest, and asked the medic a couple of questions that showed she already had some knowledge of the process. She caught me looking at her. “My aunt was a surgeon,” she explained. “This whole business -” she gestured imprecisely - “has made me think I could do with learning some of what she knew.

A commlink buzzed nearby, and a knot of medics detached themselves from their duties and ran to the door. Eirtaé, Saché and I looked at each other.

Saché touched a medic’s arm. “What’s happened?”

“I’m not sure exactly. One of the Jedi’s been injured, badly. Maybe even killed.”

“Which one?” My voice seemed to be coming from far away, very faint over the pounding of my heart. “ _Which one?_ ”

He shook his head, _I don’t know_.

After the longest and shortest time in my life, the medics reappeared carrying Qui-Gon on a stretcher, Obi-Wan running beside them. My legs buckled under me - when had I stood up? - and I sat down with a thump.

I felt faint with relief - _Obi-Wan was alive!_ \- and then the shame hit me. Qui-Gon was hurt, or worse. I didn’t have a clear view to where they had put him down.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, and looked up to see Eirtaé. She squeezed my shoulder but didn’t say anything. I covered her hand with mine, and waited.

Obi-Wan stood, one hand in his hair, and the other down by his master’s shoulder. He looked up, and our eyes met. The pain in his eyes seared my heart like a vibroblade. Qui-Gon was dead.


	17. Aftermath

The cleanup operation after the battle was surprisingly swift. Our troops soon reported that the palace was secure, and that all the droids and ships in Theed had been deactivated. A transmission was sent throughout Naboo instructing all citizens to remain indoors until we had confirmed it was safe to go outside, and to keep comm channels clear. Saché was put to work liaising with the underground resistance to ascertain the situation across our planet.

It turned out that only in Theed and the biggest towns had all the inhabitants been sent to camps. In smaller towns, the prominent officials had been put under house arrest and the whole settlement put under curfew. There had been a few deaths of people who had resisted imprisonment or tried to escape, but on the whole casualties had been minimal.

Obi-Wan had been right after all - Sio Bibble’s message shortly after we escaped from Naboo had indeed been a trap, designed to trick us into sending a communication and revealing our whereabouts. I shuddered at the memory of Bibble’s hologram - from the look in his eyes, he must have believed it to be true.

I was in an agony of uncertainty waiting for word of my family. It would be some time before I could try to contact them, and while rationally speaking I knew no news was good news, my fears refused to submit to logic. I knew from the tense, pinched faces that surrounded me that we were all going through the same torment for our family and friends.

Several times people approached me and began to report as if I was the Queen. I corrected them quickly and none of us had time to dwell on our embarrassment, but it soon became disruptive. Padmé dispatched me to the royal apartments to change, and then to report to Palpatine, Valorum and the Jedi Council, and arrange a time when she could speak to them at length herself. 

The palace corridors were littered with fallen droids. A strange stillness filled the halls, abruptly broken at intervals by shouts from the troops searching the building. Here and there a smashed vase or broken window bore witness to the recent violence, but overall the building was remarkably unscarred.

The Queen’s apartments were almost untouched. An overturned table and a shattered Kaadara glass bowl were the only signs that the Trade Federation had indeed been there. It was deeply unsettling. They had claimed they had imposed the blockade to protest against trade route taxation, but if its true purpose has really been financial, why had they not ransacked the room for any valuables thy could find?

I stood in the spacious dressing room that housed the ensembles most commonly worn by the Queen and her handmaidens (the rest of the royal wardrobe was kept in climate-controlled vaults), and surveyed my choices. Logic told me I should wear something brightly coloured in celebration of our victory - perhaps the padparadscha robes we had worn at the Queen’s coronation, or the yellow velvet gowns we had changed out of as the Trade Federation army marched into Theed. But I couldn’t do it. Even though we had won, and won with very little bloodshed given the circumstances, the tranquility of Naboo had been marred by violence, and I had a feeling we would never really be the same again. And we may have lost fewer lives than we had anticipated, but every death was a tragedy. I felt more like mourning than celebrating.

In the end, I selected sombre velvet robes the colours of shadows in the forest. In one of those rare moments when I was confident I knew how Padmé would act, I knew without a doubt that she would approve of my choice and its reasons.

I contacted Palpatine’s office first, and was immediately put through to him - he must have been expecting a comm from Naboo. “Senator Palpatine, I have good news: Naboo is free.”

For a blink he seemed shocked, and then he smiled broadly. “Stars above! I hardly dared dream it. Against all the odds, she prevailed - what an exceptional young woman. Tell me, how did she do it?”

I shook off his strange first reaction - I must have imagined it - and briefly reported on our alliance with the Gungans, the capture of Nute Gunray and Rune Haako, and the victory over the droid army. When I came to the death of Qui-Gon Jinn, I hadn’t meant to say much about the circumstances, as we knew so little about who his attacker was and I wasn’t sure what Padmé would want to be said, but I found myself explaining the little I’d seen of their battle, and as much as I’d heard about the attack on Tatooine. No matter - it was probably good that he know.

He didn’t offer any comments as I spoke. When I had finished he gazed into the middle distance for a few moments, then smiled warmly at me. “A truly remarkable sequence of events. I will make arrangements to join you all on Naboo as soon as possible, once the result of the election has been announced. And what of you? I’m not sure we have met before. What was your part in this?”

“I am Sabé Mesada, handmaiden to the Queen, and her decoy when needed.”

“Ah, of course! An indispensable role. My sincere thanks to you for your service.” I pushed away the niggling thought that maybe I shouldn’t have revealed myself as the Queen’s decoy - as Naboo’s Senator, surely he had a right to know.

We arranged that Padmé would contact him later to discuss matters more fully, and I then commed Supreme Chancellor Valorum’s office. Valorum was unavailable, but I gave his aide a concise outline of events, and arranged for him and the Queen to speak early the next morning.

When I commed the Jedi Temple, I was astonished and not a little intimidated to be put straight through to two members of the Jedi Council, whom I recognised from the holonews. It was remarkable how their physical presence seemed to carry through the holo. Depa Billiba was a human female whose aura of tranquility would have calmed me had it not been for the scowl of Even Piell, a Lannik male who was imposing despite his small stature.

“Your honours, I am Sabé Mesada, handmaiden to Queen Amidala. I am sorry to say I bring sad news.”

I felt deeply uncomfortable at being the one to tell them, but Depa Billiba said gently, “News of the death of Master Qui-Gon Jinn? Obi-Wan Kenobi has already contacted us. He didn’t have time to tell us much of the circumstances of his death. Perhaps you can help us?”

I hesitated, then told them everything I knew. They had a right to this knowledge, however incomplete it was. When I had finished, Even Piell nodded slowly. “Thank you, Handmaiden Sabé. This information is of great value to us. It is a comfort to know that he died in service to your people and to the Republic.”

Depa Billiba continued. “Please let your Queen know that whenever she is able, any member of the Council will be pleased to speak with her. In the meantime, please offer her our congratulations on the liberation, and our condolences for the loss of those who have died. If Master Jinn’s funeral is held on Naboo, it is our hope and expectation that many of us will be able to attend, to honour his sacrifice and his memory.”

I bowed, and when I straightened up their images had flickered away.

It was very late before we retired to the royal apartments. Padmé initially wanted to stay up even later reading reports, but with some effort Rabé managed to persuade her that she needed to rest properly before tomorrow.

We had had word that Yané was safe, and we were no longer worried for her, but somehow didn’t seem right to return to the bedrooms we had shared before the invasion. We ended up all bringing our bedding into the Queen’s bedchamber and making up beds on the floor, Padmé included.

It seemed so long ago that we had last slept in these apartments, on the eve of invasion. That night, we had known the storm was about to break over us, but we had no idea where it would carry us. Now we were back safe in those rooms, but we had come through conflict and violence and death to get here. Having abandoned our long-cherished pacifism, could we really take it up again and continue as if nothing had happened?

I tried to push those thoughts from my head, but deep down I knew that every one of us, and our whole society, had changed irrevocably.

***

The days after the battle passed in a blur of activity. My family and those of the other handmaidens were safe, as were Padmé's and Panaka’s. I didn’t expect to see them for some time, as the population as a whole was too occupied with to recovering from the occupation to travel unless absolutely necessary, but we spoke via holo when we could.

Yané and Sio Bibble rejoined us a little thinner than we had left them, but otherwise well and unharmed. They had been imprisoned in Theed not far from the palace, and Bibble in particular had been frequently interrogated and intimidated by the Nemoidians, who had hoped to coerce him into co-operating with them in their dealings with the Senate, or at least into revealing classified information. He had resisted their efforts however, and they had stopped short of physical threats or violence. When he spoke of his experiences there was a new hardness in his eyes that unnerved me, and Yané told me later how he had feared for the safety of his daughter and young grandson. Yané herself seemed little changed most of the time, but every so often she would lapse into a silence that we felt uncomfortable breaking.

Padmé sent Rabé to visit the families of those who had died during the invasion, to offer her condolences and to arrange a personal visit from the Queen at a later date. It was seen as a mark of great honour for her to send a handmaiden, and to send her so quickly after the liberation. A public memorial was to be held at the next dark-of-moon, and trees would be planted in Palace Plaza in their honour.

While we Naboo had survived the occupation relatively unscathed, the Gungans had taken significant losses on the plains. They had returned to Otoh Gunga to reclaim their homes and bury their dead in the oceanic trenches, but Boss Nass and an entourage would soon make their way to Theed for Qui-Gon’s funeral and a celebration of our shared victory.

To Eirtaé’s initial dismay, Padmé tasked her with attending the Gungan delegation during their stay in the capital. Like the rest of us, she had scant knowledge of Gungan society, but the Queen assured her she had complete confidence in her ability to rise to the occasion. Eirtaé spent most of the time leading up to their arrival researching their culture, anxious to honour them to the highest degree, and terrified that she would somehow offend them. The rest of us took no little amusement from seeing Eirtaé, normally so coolheaded and confident, preparing for the visit like a student for a crucial exam.

We heard later that when the Gungans entered the gates of Theed, they were first greeted with wide-eyed silence from the people, and then by tentative applause which quickly grew to wholehearted cheering. By the time they arrived at the palace gates, the roar was deafening. Padmé met them in person at the foot of the grand steps, and with their clasped hands she and Boss Nass did more to further peace between our peoples than they could ever have accomplished through words.

When Padmé introduced Eirtaé to them, Boss Nass was graciousness personified, rewarding Eirtaé’s uncharacteristically clumsy attempt at replicating a Gungan bow with a gracious smile, an incline of his head, and a complete absence comments on her efforts that I’m sure Eirtaé appreciated.

Perhaps the most satisfying part of the liberation’s aftermath was when we delivered Nute Gunray and Rune Haakao to the custody of the Republic. Since their capture they had offered not a word of protest or complaint, and as they were escorted away their fear was obvious to us all.

They left Coruscant on the ship that had brought Palpatine, newly elected Supreme Chancellor, and several members of the Jedi Council. Among them were Mace Windu and Yoda, legends across the galaxy, and I also recognised Depa Billiba and Even Piell. It was the first time in centuries that such high-ranking Jedi had visited Naboo, and to have them arrive with Supreme Chancellor Palpatine seemed somehow like an omen that Naboo was going to play a much larger part in galactic affairs from now on.

I saw Obi-Wan many times over the course of those days, from my position at the Queen’s side. He was calm and composed, and participated fully in all the many discussions, but there was a rasp in his voice and dark circles under his eyes. A handmaiden should be alert and fully aware of everything around her, but I found it so difficult to give my attention to anything else when he was suffering. I longed to go to him and comfort him, but I was bound by my the protocol of my role as a handmaiden, and I was fully occupied with no opportunity to seek him out. So I remained at my post, hooded and cloaked and silent, while my heart ached for the man I loved.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes on Sabé’s wardrobe considerations: Padparadscha is the name given to sapphires of a range of pinkish-orangeish colours. Not only is it a colour I can imagine the handmaidens wearing to a coronation, but the name comes from the Sinhalese word for lotus, which is also the root meaning of Padmé’s name, which makes it particularly appropriate :) The outfit Sabé ends up choosing is the ones that are later worn at Qui-Gon’s funeral (see Padawan’s Guide: http://padawansguide.com/tpm_handmaidens7.shtml)


	18. The Funeral

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting closer to the end! Just a few chapters to go - all being well, I'll be posting the final chapter on Thursday. Thank you so much for reading/leaving kudos/commenting, it means the world :)

By the third day after the liberation of the planet, the majority of the people were back in their homes, and preparations were almost complete for the coming celebrations.

A number of the Queen’s advisors, Sio Bibble among them, had been keen to postpone festivities until a time when we could hold one of the days-long feasts that Naboo was renowned for, but Palpatine and the Jedi were due to return to Coruscant soon and Padmé was adamant that they must be at the celebration. Only with their presence could we fully honour Qui-Gon’s sacrifice, and draw the galaxy’s attention to the importance of the events of the past weeks.

With very limited time to prepare, the decision was made to simply hold a parade through the city, to be followed by informal street parties organised locally by residents, with the intention to hold a full-scale festival on the anniversary of the liberation.

The evening before the parade, we bade farewell to Qui-Gon Jinn at the crematorium on the outskirts of Theed. Beforehand, I did something which did not come easily to me, and asked Padmé for permission to be released from my duties for the funeral.

She didn’t ask me why I wanted this, and I was glad, because in truth I barely knew myself. I was only aware of an overwhelming feeling that I could not attend the funeral as the Queen’s handmaiden, I had to be there as a private individual. So while my four sisters flanked the Queen in their formal robes, I stood deep in the shadows in my simple cloak, just outside the circle of light from the flames.

The Jedi Masters present spoke the Jedi funeral rite. Dignified, poetic and moving, the words washed over me and gently drew out the pain and fear and loss I had been carrying since the beginning of the invasion. There was something healing in being able to just stand there and feel those emotions, free of any expectation or obligation as to how I should respond.

When the rite was over, Mace Windu lit the pyre. The flames flickered along the edge and danced upwards, and Qui-Gon Jinn’s body began to burn. I couldn’t watch, and instead focused on the firelight leaping on the walls, and after a while on the faces of the other mourners. Somehow it didn’t feel like intruding on their grief, but rather like sharing in it.

Chancellor Palpatine hid behind his politician’s mask and I could see Padmé trying to do the same, but she was fighting to hold back her tears. From where I was standing, Obi-Wan’s face was hidden by his hood, but the Jedi whose faces I could see were grave and solemn. Anakin remained resolutely stoical throughout, never turning away or wiping his eyes, but it broke my heart to see the tears streaming down his face as he said goodbye to the man who had rescued him from slavery on Tatooine and given him a new life.

We all stood in silence until Qui-Gon’s body had been consumed by the flames. When the ending gong was rung, the Queen, the Chancellor and Boss Nass bowed to the pyre and left, with Rabé gently ushering Anakin away. Then in ones and twos the Jedi and the rest of the mourners departed, leaving only Obi-Wan before the empty flames. 

He looked so desperately alone, and I felt an almost overwhelming urge to join him. I held back - what if he wanted to be left in solitude? But the feeling wouldn’t go away, and so I left the shadows and cautiously went to stand at his side.

I immediately felt it was a mistake and wanted to leave, but as if he’d read my mind - had he? - Obi-Wan spoke.

“Stay, please. Your presence is comforting.” His voice was level, but there was a catch in it. I gathered my cloak around me for comfort rather than warmth, and for a long time we just stood in silence staring into the fire as it crackled before us.

Finally he spoke. “You know, at the Temple they tell us we shouldn’t mourn as others mourn when our loved ones die. We can grieve, yes, for a time at least, but the kind of grief that cripples so many species at times like this - we’re supposed to transcend that. We’re supposed to feel our departed loved ones around us and inside us, in the Force that fills the universe and binds us all together.”

The flames shone all the more brightly in his eyes that were now brimming with tears. He turned to me, and I shrank back from his pain. “But I _don’t_ feel him. How can I? He’s _gone_. I’ll never speak to him again like I’m speaking to you now, never argue with him, never hear him praise me or chide me. He’ll never smile at me, never teach me, never duel with me again. He’ll never see me knighted. How am I supposed to continue in the ways of the Jedi without him? The Code would have me let go of this grief, this pain. If that’s what it means to be a Jedi, then how can I be one?”

His voice cracked, and he turned back to the fire. He took a few deep breaths. “The Order would say I held to him too tightly.”

I wanted so badly to reach out and take his hand, to put my hand on his shoulder, to embrace him. “Of course you held on to him - we hold on to the people we love.”

“He was my father, my brother. He was everything to me. How could I ever let him go?”

The fire was beginning to die down. The flames were steadier now, gradually giving way to glowing embers. My eyes and cheeks were stinging with heat and ash and tears. What could I possibly say? I had barely any knowledge of Jedi lore, and little experience of comforting the grieving. I went over his words in my head, then cautiously began to speak.

“Obi-Wan, I’m no Jedi, but you said your lore says you can mourn for a time, and then you should move on. Right now, you can’t see a way to move on, and why should you see a way? You’ve lost your master, and the person closest to you. But it’s not something you have to do right now. Right now you’re in the time of mourning. So why try to work out how you’re going to move on, or even _if_ you’re going to? The lore says you can grieve for him now - so grieve for him.”

He closed his eyes tightly. “That’s what he would have said.” He clutched his forehead and began to tremble, and then suddenly he was weeping, great silent sobs that shook his whole body. I couldn’t bear it any longer. I reached out and took his hand and he immediately enfolded me in his arms and we were crying together, my tears soaking his tunic and his soaking my hair.

I don’t know how long we wept, but eventually our tears slowed and then stopped. For a long while we stood together, finding comfort in the embrace.

“Stars, Sabé,” he whispered into my hair. “How did you get to be so wise?”

I didn’t answer. After a while, I disentangled myself. I didn’t dare meet his eyes. I knew that if I did I wouldn’t be able to look away, and he would kiss me - and I wanted him to, but not now, not like this.

The silence stretched out between us and the moment, whatever it was, passed. When he spoke again his voice was strained. “I think I’ll just stay here for a while longer.”

I recognised my cue and glanced at him one more time, but his face was hidden in the shadow of his hood. “Goodnight, Obi-Wan.” I wanted to add something but didn’t know what, so in the end I just walked away, leaving him alone with the dying embers of the funeral pyre.

 


	19. Hope

In addition to the funeral, the Queen had excused me from my duties the next morning. I’d expected to sleep late, given the events of the past weeks and how exhausted I’d been, but in fact I woke not long after dawn, feeling surprisingly refreshed. I certainly didn’t feel any need to stay in bed and try to get back to sleep. Instead, I dressed and headed out onto the streets of Theed.

At this hour, most of the residents were still in bed, but some were already hard at work, clearing any remaining debris from the streets and hanging colourful banners in preparation for the afternoon’s parade. The early morning sun sank into the rose and peach-coloured stones of the city, and it seemed almost impossible that only a few days ago, these beautiful streets had been full of the invading troops.

I settled myself down on a bench to watch the preparations, taking comfort in the gentle activity around me. The pain of last night had lessened somewhat, or at least it felt less immediate, and I couldn’t help but smile as I watched the residents of Theed at their work. I became aware of someone behind me, and when I turned found myself smiling up into the face of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The thrill of seeing him was tempered almost instantly by guilt. How could I be smiling so soon after his Master’s funeral? But he returned my smile with one of his own, as gentle and as warming as the rising sun.

“Good morning,” he said. “May I join you?”

“Of course.” He sat down beside me.

“Sabé, I think I owe you an apology.”

That was the last thing I expected him to say. “An apology? What for?”

“I believe I was rude to you last night. You tried to comfort me - you _did_ comfort me - but in the end I pushed you away.”

So that was how he saw it. I’d tried to tell myself that he had just wanted some time alone with his grief, but I couldn’t help feeling I had hurt him when I wouldn’t look at him. “You didn’t push me away. You just needed to be by yourself.”

“No, it was - never mind.” He shook his head as if to clear it. “The main thing is, I felt like that’s what I did, and I am truly sorry. Your presence last night meant more to me than I can say.”

I looked down, embarrassed. “I don’t think I have anything to forgive you for, but if it really means that much to  you - you have my forgiveness.”

“Then look at me and say that.”

I met his eyes. “I forgive you.” The moment held, and then suddenly we were both laughing, and the tension evaporated away. I had no idea what we had found so funny, but our laughter was loud enough to draw some glances from passers by. 

Eventually we recovered our composure. I looked curiously at Obi-Wan as he wiped his eyes. His mood had lightened so much overnight. He caught me watching him and raised his eyebrows.

“What is it?” And when I hesitated, “Go on.”

“You seem . . . I didn’t expect you to be so . . .“

“So happy?”

“No, not exactly. You just seem more . . . more relaxed this morning.”

He stretched out his long legs and rested his heels on a terracotta planter. “I do feel more at peace. More so than I could have imagined last night.” He closed his eyes and turned his face up to the sun, then back to me. “Can I tell you why? It might be difficult for me to explain, but I want to try, if you’ll hear me.”

I hesitated, then took his hand. “Of course I’ll hear you.” His smile made my heart turn over. He squeezed my hand and released it. Then he took his feet off the planter and straightened, serious again.

“Last night, I dreamt of Qui-Gon. No, that’s not right - it wasn’t a dream. I didn’t see him or hear him, but I felt his presence as surely as I feel your presence now. As surely as I would still feel your presence if I closed my eyes and covered my ears. I don’t know what it was, I don’t know what it means, but I do know that he hasn’t really gone, not fully. There. Doesn't that sound strange?”

I couldn’t deny it. “Most of what I’m learning about Jedi is strange to me.”

“Well, we’re still people. I’m still human, very much so. In fact - this human is getting rather hungry. Have you eaten?” I shook my head. “Shall we get some breakfast?” 

I had seen a vendor walk past with her cart a little earlier, so I led Obi-Wan down the street, and we found her under a tree. She was selling the sweet filled pastries that are a speciality of the Lake Country.

I selected a few, and she adamantly refused payment. “No payment from our Jedi hero,” she said, beaming at Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan made a show of being embarrassed, but I suspected this was not the first time this had happened to him.

I felt just the slightest pang of something I couldn’t quite name. I knew Qui-Gon had been right - my role in the liberation of Naboo would not be one that would be widely known, and even if the vendor had recognised me as a royal handmaiden - which of course she did not - she would have no cause to single me out for praise. I wasn’t sure how I felt about this, but I pushed these thoughts aside - I wanted to be fully present in this beautiful morning.

We walked unhurriedly through the streets of Theed, dropping a trail of flaky crumbs behind us as we ate our breakfast. It was wonderful just to be in each other’s presence. From to time I stopped and pointed out a monument or something that had featured in my childhood, and sometimes Obi-Wan asked a question, but mostly we walked in companionable silence.

By now most of the citizens were up and about, and some greeted us as we passed, usually giving most of their attention to Ob-Wan. Although I was off-duty I felt very much like I did as a handmaiden, silent and invisible at his side.

After a while Obi-Wan began to talk. He had a lot on his mind, and a lot to adjust to. Shortly before Qui-Gon’s funeral, he had been made a Jedi Knight, and had been given permission to take Anakin as his Padwan. Normally Padawans had to undertake a series of rigorous trials before gaining their Knighthood, but the Council had waived this requirement in Obi-Wan’s case. He assumed they had decided that in being the first Jedi in generations to kill a Sith Lord, he had displayed everything the Trials were designed to test for.

While it was extremely unusual for a Padawan to be Knighted without undergoing the Trials, Obi-Wan’s taking Anakin as his Padawan was entirely without precedent. It was almost unheard of for a Jedi to take a Padawan immediately after being Knighted, but no one had ever been accepted for Jedi training as old as Anakin.

“Master Yoda was against it,” he said, “and probably some of the other Council members too. They’d say it’s too late, that he’s simply too old to begin training. They might even say it’s dangerous. But there’s never been someone like Anakin, not ever. The normal rules simply can’t apply, not here. But - I just don’t have the faintest idea how I’m going to go about it. Yesterday I was a Padawan, and now I have to train one? And _Anakin_? With Qui-Gon gone -” he stopped, and last night’s shadow seemed to fall over him again. “I could never be what Qui-Gon was to him.”

“Obi-Wan, you’re not Qui-Gon. You have your own relationship with Anakin.”

“I barely know him.”

“That will change, though.”

“Yes, but how long will that take? The relationship between Master and Padawan is the most important a Jedi will ever have, and we’ve already missed out on so much time. And I’ve got to teach him everything, right from the beginning, and at the same time develop that bond?” He bowed his head. “But I must. I promised Qui-Gon I would train Anakin, and I can’t fail him. I suppose when we go back to Coruscant with the Council, I can ask them for some kind of support.”

The bottom dropped out of my stomach. It took a moment before I trusted myself to speak, and when I did my voice was very small. “You’re going back to Coruscant? So soon?”

He stopped, took my hands and drew me close. “I have to. I need to start Anakin’s training as soon as possible. I wish I could stay,” he said softly. “But I’ll be back, I know it.”

I blinked back the tears that were blurring my vision, pulled my hands from his, and started walking again. I hadn’t let myself think much about what the future might hold for myself and Obi-Wan, but now I found I had dreamed more than I had realised. What had I thought would happen? That he would stay on Naboo forever? I’d always known he would leave, I just hadn’t let myself think about it, and I hadn’t thought it would be so soon.

“Sabé, I don’t want to leave. You know I don’t. But the Council have made it clear that if Anakin is to be trained - and he is - then that training must start as soon as possible, to try to reduce the risks as far as we can. There’s simply no other way,”

An idea was forming in my mind, and I hardly dared think about it in case it evaporated. Slowly, I began to speak. “But what if there _is_ another way? What if you don’t go back straightaway, what if you both stay on Naboo for a while?”

He shook his head, and I saw his eyes were now bright with tears. “Sabé, I can’t. The Council -”

“No, hear me out,” I interrupted. “You say the Master-Padawan relationship is fundamental for Jedi. And you’re worried about developing that relationship with Anakin, that you have to start training him straight away without having that bond to build on. Well, what if you and Anakin stay on Naboo precisely for that reason? To spend time to build those foundations before returning to Coruscant? Wouldn’t that be a better start for his training?”

Obi-Wan didn’t reply but just continued walking, clearly thinking over what I had said. Encouraged, I continued. “Wouldn’t it be a good thing for Anakin? He’s gone through so much in just a few days. He’s lost his mother, his homeworld, his friends; the whole course of his life has completely changed since meeting Qui-Gon. And now he’s lost Qui-Gon too. Wouldn’t it be good for him to have some time to rest and recuperate before being uprooted yet again to train on Coruscant?

“And you’ve seen how devoted he is to Padmé. He _adores_ her. Rather than tear him away from her now, wouldn’t it be better for him to spend time on Naboo with her, with all of us? That way he’d be starting his new life on Coruscant from a foundation of love and community, rather than in the immediate aftermath of trauma. And it would be good for her, too. She relaxes when she’s around him, and that’s not something that comes naturally to her. I’m sure she’d agree to it in a heartbeat. Obi-Wan,” I could hear the pleading in my voice. “Wouldn’t it be better for all of us if you both stayed? For a while?”

Obi-Wan was silent. I wanted to grab his shoulders and shake him, to shout at him that this made perfect sense for everyone, that it was the way we could have what we both wanted. With a great effort of will I restrained myself and let him think.

His smile started slowly, and grew and grew, and then the breath was knocked from my body when he picked me up and swung me round. I shrieked and swatted at him and he put me down. He stayed very, very close. I hadn’t noticed how much green there was in his eyes.

“Sabé, you are a genius. I think that might work.” He stepped away and I was glad, because I was suddenly aware of all the passers-by watching us. “I’ll ask Master Windu today. In fact - I’ll go right now.”

He stooped and kissed me, so quickly that I hardly knew what had happened. “I’ll see you at the parade!” Too stunned to respond, I watched him stride away.

The tolling of the city’s bells brought me back to the present with a jolt. To my horror I realised it was noon, and I should already have been back at the palace. I set off at a run, with an urgency that gave me no time to think about what had just happened.

 


	20. The Parade

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys it's the penultimate chapter! Final chapter and epilogue tomorrow...

When I arrived back at the palace I found to my absolute mortification that my fellow handmaidens were already in their green robes, and Yané was applying the Queen’s makeup. Rabé looked at me curiously and Yané and Saché maintained carefully neutral expressions, but Eirtaé gave me a disconcertingly knowing smile.

I bowed deeply to Padmé. “Your highness, I am so, so sorry!”

She motioned to Yané to stop painting her face. Her expression was hard to read with her makeup half-done. “Thus far in my service, handmaiden, you have been entirely punctual.” Her voice was stern, but there was a sparkle in her eyes. “So I will simply assume you have an excellent reason for being otherwise this morning, and we’ll say no more about it.”

Weak with relief, I hurriedly changed into my green robes. It seemed Eirtaé hadn’t told the Queen about when I was late to respond to her summons on Coruscant, which, I reflected, had also been because I had been with Obi-Wan - although on that occasion I could have hardly left him halfway through my explanation of Padmé and my disguises.

When I had changed, I returned to find Padmé dressed in a beautiful white gown I had never seen before. A simple satin dress was ornamented by a tabard of the same material, painted with the emblem of Naboo. Over this dress she wore a cape made from what must have been hundreds of petals of slubbed organza, the colour of dawn light on snow-capped mountains. Her headdress was the simplest I’d seen her wear as Queen, a lattice of silver set with white gems, suspended on her forehead. A silver-webbed white fan at the nape of her neck framed her shoulders and face. She looked like a fairy queen from the old tales, serene, benevolent and strong.

The effect was somewhat moderated by the fact that she was deep in a measured but heartfelt argument with Sio Bibble and Captain Panaka. I gathered Padmé had insisted that it must be the Gungans alone who would make the formal procession through the city. The Naboo and Jedi would simply walk down the palace steps to greet them.

Bibble and Panaka had reluctantly agreed, but were now adamant that she must join the Naboo group last (we handmaidens did not count, of course), in the place of honour. It was Padmé who had made the decision to return to Naboo and who had led the assault on Theed, and in doing so she had fully earned her place at the head of our party. She was already minimising her prominence by not partaking in the parade itself, and the people need her as their figurehead to unite being in the difficult days ahead.

When they saw her resistance to this line of argument, they tried a different approach. When Boss Nass arrived at the palace at the head of the Gungan delegation, she would greet him as one equal to another. To give the greatest honour to the Gungans it was necessary that Padmé lead the Naboo party, just as Boss Nass was leading the Gungans. 

I had to fight not to smile as they argued back and forth. On the day of the invasion, so long ago, we had all stood in this same room while the two of them attempted to persuade Padmé to use me as her decoy. So much had rested on that decision, and I had no doubt it had changed my life forever. Now they were arguing about how best to celebrate our victory

When Padmé finally agreed to their wishes, it was clear that it had been their argument about honouring the Gungans that had actually swayed her, rather than any concern over her own position in the parade. 

The matter settled, we finally headed down to the entrance hall of the palace, where Panaka’s troops, some Naboo dignitaries and most of the Jedi had already assembled. The other Jedi and Naboo arrived in pairs and small groups. Last to arrive were Supreme Chancellor Palpatine and Obi-Wan, with Anakin looking very smart and somewhat solemn in his new Jedi attire.

As he ushered Anakin to his place Obi-Wan broke with protocol and looked directly at me. He grinned briefly but broadly, and I knew he had gained the Council’s permission to stay on Naboo. From that moment on it took all my strength to keep my expression neutral, while my heart was brimming with secret joy.

The celebratory roar of the crowds outside was somewhat muffled here inside the palace, but it still sounded like the whole of Theed was out on the streets for the parade, which it probably was. When stewards arrived to deliver the Globe of Peace into Sio Bibble’s care, he had to lean close to hear their guidance over the noise.

The Globe of Peace had been created long ago, after the unification of Naboo and the end of the Time of Suffering, to commemorate the coming of peace. When Padmé presented it to Boss Nass, the accord between our two peoples would be sealed, and a new age of peace would begin.

When we were given the signal that the Gungans were approaching, we all walked in turn out of the palace and down the great steps. First went the soldiers and dignitaries, followed by Palpatine and the Jedi Council members. Then Sio Bibble walked out alone, to a huge upswell in the cheering. It was clear that his fortitude during the occupation had greatly endeared him to the people of Theed.  Captain Panaka, Obi-Wan and Anakin went next, followed by the astromech R2-D2, who had helped Anakin in his daring attack on the Trade Federation droid control ship. The already deafening cheers grew even louder.

Finally it was our turn. I and my sisters followed our Queen out onto the steps, into a joyful wall of noise. At the sight of thousands of Naboo packed into the streets and hanging out of windows, my heart swelled but my steps faltered, and it was only by fixing my eyes on Obi-Wan that I was able to continue walking and take up my place behind him and Anakin.

We heard the Gungans before we saw them. First the strident calls of horns, then the rhythmic thudding of the drums, and then they came into view. Row upon row of Gungans half-marched, half-danced through the streets, applauded all the way by cheering, flag-waving crowds - crowds made up of people who had spent their lives with Gungans as the villains of their bedtime stories and the reason they had never set foot in the swamplands.

As they made their way through Palace Plaza I could see Boss Nass enthroned on the back of a falumpaset, preceded by Jar Jar and Captain Tarpals on their kaadu. When they reached the foot of the steps they dismounted, and ascended on foot. When Boss Nass arrived, Padmé moved forward to greet him, then turned back to Bibble and took from him the Globe of Peace. She presented the globe to Boss Nass, and he lifted it high above his head with a great cry that echoed out over the crowds. “Peace!”

***

After the formal end of the parade we all stayed on the steps for a while, conversing or observing as suited our mood and duties. Chancellor Palpatine came over to Padmé, Obi-Wan and Anakin, smiling. He bowed to the Queen. “Your majesty, I must congratulate you once again on this most extraordinary achievement. Peace between the Gungans and the Naboo! I never thought I would see it. This day will live on in history. And Obi-Wan Kenobi. I knew your master, though sadly more by his reputation than through personal acquaintance. He would have been extremely proud of you.”

Obi-Wan bowed. “Thank you, your excellency.”

The Chancellor laid a hand on Anakin’s shoulder. “Come now youngster. Why so grave? We have much to celebrate. You should be very proud of your part in all this. Are you not happy?”

“I am happy, I guess,” Anakin replied slowly. “It’s just I’m going tomorrow to start my Jedi training on Coruscant. I do want to be a Jedi, it’s just - I wish I didn’t have to leave so soon.”

Obi-Wan and Padmé exchanged a glance, and Obi-Wan nodded slightly. “Well, Anakin,” said Padmé, “there has been something of a change of plan.” Anakin gazed up at her questioningly.

She looked at Obi-Wan again and smiled. “I have invited Jedi Kenobi to remain here on Naboo until the autumn, and he has, with the Council’s blessing, agreed. And he could hardly be separated from his Padawan so soon, could he?”

Anakin stared in disbelief at Obi-Wan. “Really? You mean we’re - really?”

Obi-Wan nodded, not trying to hide his amusement. “Yes, my young Padawan. We will be staying on Naboo for the summer.”

Anakin’s astonishment gave way to joy. “That’s - that’s - wizard!” He reached up on tiptoes to hug Obi-Wan round the waist, then stepped back, suddenly self-conscious.

Obi-Wan just laughed and ruffled his hair. “I’m glad you think so, Anakin. I’m very pleased about it too.” Obi-Wan’s eyes found mine again, and I could hardly think for the fluttering of my heart.

***

Back at the palace, Padmé excused us from our duties until the next day. Panaka resisted initially, but Padmé once again insisted, pointing out that she hardly needed bodyguards with all the Jedi in attendance, and that this was surely an occasion when protocol could be relaxed. “Captain, you must agree that my handmaidens have richly earned an evening to themselves. That’s also true of you, but I know better than to try to persuade _you_ to go off duty.”

The corner of his mouth twitched. He took a breath and opened his mouth, then seemed to change his mind and closed it. He sighed. “Your highness, in recent days I have fought battle droids, assault tanks and droidekas. I have also disputed with Gungans, Jedi and politicians. It would appear that, for now at least, your Captain is weary of conflict. I will in this case capitulate without a fight.” He looked round at us. “And your highness speaks truly. Your handmaidens have served you well, and deserve any reward you could give them.” Such praise from Panaka was rare, and I think we were all moved. He bowed, and left us.

We spent the rest of the afternoon helping each other get ready for the evening’s celebrations. The royal wardrobe included a selection of outfits suitable for occasionwear, which were usually loaned to individuals as a mark of particular royal favour, so we weren’t short of options. It was wonderful just to be a group of girls together, deciding on our outfits without all the considerations of court dress.

Eirtaé chose a simple ice-blue shift dress, and Rabé's gown was of dark red shot with gold. Yané’s choice (after much consideration) was pleated high-necked dark brown satin with a daringly low back, and Saché opted for yellow crepe. My eye was immediately caught by a blush pink dress made of layers of chiffon gathered at the shoulders, and embroidered around the neck and hemline with coppery thread. When I tried it on it fit perfectly, and I loved how it swayed around my feet when I moved.

Saché fiddled with the shoulder clasps to modify the drape of the dress, and then adjusted my neckline to show a bit more skin. I narrowed my eyes. “What are you doing, Saché?”

“Oh, you know,” she said innocently, “just helping you dress for the occasion“. She raised an eyebrow in a somewhat less innocent fashion.

“You know!” I said accusingly.

“Darling Sabé, we all know. It’s our job to notice things - we’d be pretty poor handmaidens if we couldn’t even notice you and Obi-Wan making shaak eyes at each other.” I made a face at her. “And we’re all very happy for you.”

“Really?”

“Of course. And only a little jealous.”

“Saché!” chided Rabé from across the room. Saché laughed, gave my dress a final tweak and stepped back to let me inspect the result in the mirror. I liked it - it certainly was a flattering neckline, and I felt comfortable with it.

“You look lovely, Sabé” said Padmé. She was still wearing the dress she had worn at the parade, but without the petalled cloak or fanned ornament. “You all do.” Then her eyes filled with tears and her voice cracked. “Oh my sisters, I’m so glad you’re here.” 

Deeply moved, we all went to her, and joined together in an embrace. After everything we had been through our lives would never be the same again, but I knew one thing would never change: we would always have each other.

 


	21. In the Gardens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are! This fic has meant so much to me, and I have loved sharing it with you guys. Thank you SO MUCH to you all for reading, commenting and leaving kudos, it really has meant the world.
> 
> I’m working on a follow-up collection of shorter Sobiwan fics, and I also have an Eirtaé and Cassian one-shot which is pretty close to being finished, so hopefully I’ll have something else to share with you guys soon :)
> 
> Again, massive thanks to handmaiclen and mrstater/khaleesa for organising Sobiweek, and to all my fellow participants. Bring on the next Sobiweek!

The six of us walked slowly down to the palace gardens, where the evening’s festivities were already under way. Groups of humans and Gungans sat or stood talking and laughing together, eating and drinking from the selections laid out on tables under the trees.

It felt strange to be attending the Queen in normal clothes, and we drew some curious glances from onlookers - it was rare to see handmaidens in public not wearing our customary hooded robes. But somehow, as soon as we saw Obi-Wan and Anakin and started making our way towards them, it felt like we were just a group of friends, relaxing together for the evening.

Obi-Wan saw us first. He smiled at us with a warmth that made my heart sing, and nudged his apprentice. Anakin inspected us closely as we approached, evidently trying to work out who we each were, and who he had met before.

Padmé greeted the two Jedi, then introduced us all to Anakin. “Rabé and Eirtaé you know. Yané and Saché stayed behind on Naboo. And this is Sabé, my decoy.”

Anakin physically drew back, suddenly as wary as a threatened animal. He studied me through narrowed eyes. “Your decoy. The person who pretended to be you.”

I was filled with an unease - no, a fear - that I couldn’t explain. I was dimly aware of Obi-Wan looking at me with worry in his eyes, but my all my attention was fixed on this little boy, blue eyed and round faced and suddenly dangerous. He radiated hostility, and all my instincts screamed at me to run, but I couldn’t move.

“Anakin,” Padmé said gently, “Sabé saved my life.” He didn’t respond. She moved to my side and took my hand, and I gripped it tightly. Obi-Wan rested a hand on his Padawan’s shoulder. 

Anakin stared at me for a few more long moments. Then slowly he reached out a palm to me, and the feeling of danger faded. Cautiously I took his hand, and we shook hands, once, then broke contact.

The oppressive threat had lifted, but the tension hadn’t completely eased. Obi-Wan gave Anakin’s shoulder a gentle shake. “Well, my young Padawan. Now that our friends are here, why don’t we take our ease for a while? Maybe play a game?” Anakin looked up at him and nodded, and I could breathe again.

“How about jezic?” suggested Rabé to Padmé. “It’s easy to pick up, and our guests might like to play a traditional Naboo game.”

“Perfect,” said Padmé, and pointed out where the jezic pins were set up by a nearby fountain. As we walked over, Obi-Wan gave me a concerned glance, and mouthed, _Are you alright?_ I nodded. The experience with Anakin had been extremely disconcerting, but now it had passed, and I wondered if perhaps I had been imagining things. Anakin was such a gentle, good-hearted boy - I couldn’t possibly have been afraid of him.

Rabé explained the rules of jezic while the fountain murmured behind her. It involved throwing batons at wooden pins, each of which represented a certain number of points. Each player had a set number of points they had to reach, and to win they had to obtain exactly number of points - if they went over they would lose. The game was straightforward enough, but the pins were positioned in such a way as to make it difficult to knock down the one you wanted without bringing down others too.

At least, that was the idea. As it turned out, we were all extremely good at it. Our weapons training, and the Jedi’s Force sensitivity, meant we all had exceptional levels of accuracy, and reached our scores without difficulty. We ended up setting each other challenges to make the game more interesting - throwing the batons while answering questions or reciting poetry, or while standing on one leg or after spinning round on the spot several times.

Obi-Wan and I didn’t speak to each other during the game, but we kept stealing glances. After a particularly entertaining round where Yané reached her score flawlessly while singing a popular tongue-twister song, I glanced over at him to find him looking at me in a way that brought warmth to my cheeks. The game seemed to have paused while the others congratulated Yané, and Rabé led Anakin to the refreshments table.

I held Obi-Wan’s gaze, then summoned my courage and slowly, deliberately, turned away. I walked towards an ivy-entwined archway that led to another garden, heart hammering. Would he follow? With a great effort of will I kept my steps even and measured, when I wanted to run away, or back to him.

I ducked under the arch, and continued down the steps and along a sandstone path that wound through fragrant flowerbeds, ornamental fountains and graceful pavilions. I passed more than one couple who had escaped the merrymaking for a private moment. I kept my eyes straight ahead, not wanting to intrude.

I wanted to turn around to see if Obi-Wan was following, but I restrained myself. From time to time the slightest sound of a footstep behind me reassured me he was there.

It was close to sunset now. The shadows were long, and the light was liquid gold around me. I had left the formal landscaped gardens behind me, and reached the network of smaller terraced gardens that meandered down amongst the waterfalls.

I followed the path to its end by the shallow banks of a secluded pool. The mirror-calm surface reflected both the burning light of the sunset, and the shadows of the trees that bent gracefully to meet the water.

A new shadow touched the water’s edge near my feet, and lengthened before me. I turned to face its source, and found myself almost in the arms of Obi-Wan Kenobi.

He smiled down at me. “Hello, Sabé.”

“Hello, Obi-Wan.” In the light of the setting sun his eyes were greener than ever. I thought he was the most beautiful man I had ever seen.

“You are tired of the game already?” He reached for my hand, and began tracing patterns on my palm with a finger. “You were doing so well.”

His finger moved to my wrist and trailed up my arm, and suddenly the ground didn't seem so steady. “I was . . . distracted.”

“I know the feeling,” he murmured, drawing me close.

It was difficult to think with his arms around me. “I thought Jedi weren’t supposed to get distracted. I thought you’re supposed to focus all your attention on the present moment.”

He brushed my hair back from my face, and his hands were warm and strong. “Oh, believe me Sabé, I am _very_ focused on the present moment.”

Then he kissed me, and it felt like coming home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I humbly beg your forgiveness for making you all wait until the very last sentence of the last chapter for them to have their first proper kiss! It felt like the right way for things for work out in this fic. As we all know, both Sabé and Obi-Wan are wholeheartedly devoted to their duty, so to me it seemed right for them to wait until the galaxy was saved (FOR NOW *cries*), all the loose ends were tied up, and Obi-Wan would be staying before they got to smoochin’. It was worth the wait for them, hope it was for you :)


	22. Epilogue

Naboo summers have always been long and golden. Bright mornings become sunny afternoons, and balmy evenings give way to cool nights. Our short, bone-freezing winters are a small price to pay for the glorious months that turn the planet into a paradise for the best part of the year.

I have never know a summer like the one following the liberation of Naboo. For the rest of my life when I looked back on it, I felt both the joy of those long perfect days, and the pain of knowing what was to come.

Obi-Wan and Anakin spent most of their time in Theed, where Anakin’s training was extensive. In addition to his time with Obi-Wan, a selection of tutors helped him make up for the education he had missed on Tatooine, and Obi-Wan took him on excursions to places of note in the capital and beyond.

Obi-Wan also acted as an informal adviser to Padmé and others who sought his council, and had his own projects too. One of these was initiating a study of Force sensitivity among the Naboo, to try to ascertain why our planet sent so few youngsters for training in the Temple.

Often all of us - Obi-Wan, Anakin, Padmé, my sister handmaidens and I, along with Captain Panaka and a select few others -  trained together in hand-to-hand and close-range combat. We shared our knowledge and expertise in different disciplines and techniques, helping each other use elements of one fighting style to develop our skills in another.

Obi-Wan and I spent all the time we could together, and under the sun and stars of the Naboo summer our romance blossomed and flourished. He was a constant source of delight to me, with his kindness, wisdom and deep integrity. His insight into people’s personalities and behaviour expanded my understanding and experience of court life, and if he was sometimes a little quick to assume the accuracy of his assessments, well, he usually turned out to be right.

At first I found it difficult to truly believe he could feel for me what I felt for him, but over time I saw that he did, and I relaxed into the warmth of his love. I came to learn that he relied on me as much as I relied on him. It was in me that he confided his worries over training Anakin, and it was I who held him when the grief of losing his master returned to ravage him.

Our relationship had an ease to it that it couldn’t have had on Coruscant under the scrutiny of the Jedi Council. Obi-Wan and I were discreet and never flaunted our relationship in public, but we also never hid it. Obi-Wan was certain the Council knew about us, but were choosing to look in the other direction given all that was already unconventional about his situation. 

Obi-Wan and I both knew that this golden time couldn’t last, but by some unspoken agreement we didn’t discuss what would happen when he returned to Coruscant until he received the summons from the Council. Perhaps we should have talked about it earlier - but with hindsight I doubt it would have changed what followed.

Regardless of what was to come or what might have been, for that one perfect summer on Naboo the shadows of the future had not yet reached us. And even when the shadows did come, when they closed in around us and choked out light and life and hope, they never marred the beauty of those priceless days.

Because, short-lived though it was, what we had for that summer - what we all had, Obi-Wan, Anakin, Padmé, my sisters and me - was real. And nothing, not the Empire, nor the purge, nor even Darth Vader, could ever take that away.


End file.
